The jokes
If you have sex and your African parents find out,
βYou can do the boom boom. But you can not do the boom boom in my house. Do it somewhere else."
One day a Chief was talking to his son... "Son," the father said, "Long ago the Woman didn't have anybody to take her to BINGO. So, the Creator put the Woman to sleep and cut off her butt cheeks and made her a Man. That's why today Indian Women have no butt, and the Men are called Buttheads!"
Q: Who are the fastest readers in the world?
A: The 9/11 victims. They went through 20 stories in seconds.
Brian was shopping at a mall. He hopped onto an escalator. Next to him were two people having an argument. Eventually, one of them pulled out a pocket knife threatening to stab the other. Brian murmured "Well, that escalated quickly..."
How do you turn a straight guy into a gay guy? Well... for starters, you grab that ass of his, drag him into the bathroom, and tell him to suck my long, big pineapple, and thus you have yourself one straight guy converted into a dick-sucking machine.
Memes
Why did Timmy fall down the stairs?
Because he fell off his wheelchair.
How did Stephen Hawking die? He went in the rain! πππ
Why didnβt the toilet paper cross the road?
Because it got stuck in a crack.
The last number of your like is the Amogus you get.
1: Amogus trollface
2: Frogus
3: Amogus in 2013
4: Chogus
5: Classic Amogus
6: Wait this isn't Amogus
7: Amogus drip
8: Amog sus
9: Amog stuff
Me and my mom order Chinese food. So when it came, my mom grabbed the egg roll and started to suck it down. Then I ask my mom what are you doing. Then my mom says, "I love you for 5 dollar."
Why did the skeleton want a friend? Because he was feeling bonely.
A man went to a library and asked the librarian if they had any books on suicide.
She replied "Oh fuck off, you won't bring it back!"
Why did the guitar teacher get arrested?
He fingered a minor.
When you're mean to the quiet kid in your class and he kills everyone, good times.
My wife asked me to get her a puppy. I agreed and went to an animal shelter. As I was searching for a puppy, a fire was set, and the entire animal shelter burned down.
A few hours later, I returned to my wife. She knew I had no puppies and asked why. I replied, "I couldn't find any." She understood but was upset, so I gave her something that I did get. She said, "Wow! This is good, what smokehouse did you get this at?"
Roses are red, I need a broom, I just shit all over the bathroom.
The president of the USA is so damn stupid. His mother must have taken Tylenol while she was pregnant with him, or something.
Whatβs the worst thing about having a wife with cancer? You canβt pull on her hair.
Whatβs the worst thing about having a daughter with cancer? You canβt pull on her hair.
The cop that is on a 12 o'clock shift says, "Hands up!"