The jokes
Why were the Twin Towers upset? Because they ordered pepperoni and cheese pizza, but instead got plain!
Why is the US so bad at Clash Royale? Because they already lost two towers.
Why do cat orphans watch sci-fi movies?
Because they won't understand what the mother ship is.
A retarded kid sees a murderer chopping up his latest victim with a saw. The retarded kid yells, "Seesaw!" because he sees a saw.
Obama: It smells like UpNigga in here...
Trump: What's UpNigga?
Obama: Omg did you say the n word?? Die!!!
Yo mama is so fat that she got on the scale, and it says, "Lose some pounds before you get on the scale, or it will break!"
Yo mama so fat, it took your dad eight years to come back with the milk.
How many babies does it take to paint the side of a barn?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
Yo mama is so fat that she stepped on the scale and it says, "Hey fat b****, break your fat a** in half so you won't weigh as much!"
The emo kid wanted a high five. I left him hanging, so did the tree.
Why did the sun not go to college? Because it already has a million degrees!
What's the most difficult thing about being a pediatric surgeon?
Keeping the scalpel steady while masturbating.
Why does an orphan always get the newest iPhone?
Because so he does not have a home button.
The parents used to hit him.
His parents got into a car crash and died.
He became an orphan in an orphanage. The people there hit him. He looked up and said "Parents?"
Me: *Calls friend* "Dude, I just fell off a 50-foot ladder!"
Friend: "Bro, you ok?!"
Me: "Yeah, lucky I only fell off the first step!"
I gave the blind kid a gun and said it was a hair dryer.
Why did the knight cross the road?
He can't because his armor was too heavy.
Why did the mailman die?
Because everyone dies.
Yo mama is so dumb, she put speed bumps on the race track.
You are so fat you tried to eat the word "edible."