The jokes
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
His wife forgot to plug his wheelchair into the wall.
What is the difference between a banana and a helicopter? Neither of them is a police officer.
Please, this is disgusting. This is only men who think that itβs fun to do jokes about rape. Itβs really fucking dramatic for a man/woman to get raped, so please just shut the fuck up!
A kid walks into the classroom on time.
Science flies you to the moon, but religion flies you into skyscrapers.
Memes
What's the best part of not wearing a condom when I'm with my girlfriend? My mom went through menopause.
My "overweight" friend and I were talking at lunch.
Overweight friend: Man, why you so ugly, dude?
Me: *annoyed* Jason, when you stepped on the scale this morning, it asked for your weight, not your phone number.
What's the only punch that can knock out a 21 year old?
A Sandy Hook.
He died because of a fuck up by the Hospital. Apparently, the doctor said to the nurse, "You can discharge Mr. Hawking now," so she went to his room and pulled the plug out of his computer.
Are guys scared of the word "Choppiness"?
Because it is literally saying "chop-penis."
What's the difference between a Lambo and 100 dead babies?
I don't have a Lambo in my garage.
My favorite sex position is the JFK:
I splatter all over her as she screams and tries to get out of the car.
What's the same about dark humor and kids with cancer?
They never get old.
You know the sport that Mexicans are good at?
Cross-country.
The Make-A-Wish Foundation has gone too far. All of the Make-A-Wish kids asked for cancer to be gone, so they just gave the cancer to all of the Make-A-Wish kids.
Why did the woman get raped in the ass?
She assed for it.
If you're reading this right now, Then the joke's on you, Because I'm right behind ya, mothafucka!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I'm laughing because you look like a monkey.
No, seriously,
I'm right behind ya.
What's the difference between cancer and a baby?..
There is none.
After the shooting, people were asking why they would do it.
They wanted to stop but it turns out they were playing an online game.
The moment when you tell an illegal immigrant to go home and he walks to the jail cell and closes it.