The jokes
Why couldn’t little Susie stay on the swing?
She had no arms.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Not Susie.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, A face like yours belongs in the zoo, But don't you worry, I'll be there too, Not in a cage, but laughing at you!
What colors were Kurt Cobain's eyes? Blue! One blew right and the other blew up!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Your mom.
Your mom who?
O shit, my mom's home! Honey, get the f*** out of my house!
Why did Stephen Hawking make it to heaven?
He couldn't make it up the stairs.
Stephen Hawking died because he rolled too far from the outlet.
One day my pet barked at me and so I got scared and was my dad actually. It was weird, you should’ve saw him and so the day goes on because he likes to run around the house that he likes to do it out 😂😂😂😂😱
Did you know all Canadians have the same blood type?
They all have blood "eh."
My friend Richard is always bullying all the little kids in the neighborhood. He is such a dick.
PP in the poo poo.
A guy cut me in the lunch line. After that, a rock was thrown at him by my friend.
Where did the mushroom kill himself?
In the mushroom.
Friends are very important. I have lots of friends in very high places. I hope the police can talk them down!
A kid asks for an ice cream. The man says, "Any sauce?" and the kid says, "Na, I got ketchup at home."
A cow was walking down the road, and it saw a beautiful cloud in the sky, so it said, "That is an a-moo-zing cloud!"
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because there's too many jokes about Sally.
What is the richest nut ever? A cash-ooo!
“Did you show him the pictures of our cats?”
“Yes.”
“Did you hang ‘em?”
Where’s the best place to put a Christmas tree?
In between Christmas two and Christmas four. 😉😂😂
The second twin tower is like Canada. It doesn’t exist.