The jokes

Why can't Americans trade with other countries? We lost the trading center!

What is the best part of twenty-one year olds?

There's twenty of them.

What's the difference between America and a flash drive?

One is USA and the other is USB! 😂😂😂

What's the best way to get a man to confess to a rape?

Ask him to tell a rape joke.

People say dogs are like their owners. So true. My dog keeps on running into the street as if she doesn't care about her life.

I don't care about her life either hahahaha!! :)

Three blondes were walking on a path. The first blonde said, “Hey, look, there are deer tracks!” The second blonde said, “No way, those are totally duck tracks.” The third blonde said, “Nuh uh, those are...” Then they got hit by a train.

How are a gay guy and a refrigerator different?

When you pull the meat out of the refrigerator, it doesn’t fart.

What do you call that useless piece of skin that goes all the way around a pussy?

A woman!

Your mamma's so fat, the aliens call her their mother ship!

How do you turn the Roman numeral IX (9) to a six?

Add the "S."

The other day I commented a dark humor joke on a post about a guy who lost his best friend. The joke was “I was so drunk last night I threw a mushroom at a midget and said ‘grow mario grow.’” He commented “What the hell is wrong with you?” and I said “IKR I really gotta work on my alcoholic issues.”

He then replied “This is a post about my dead best friend get the fuck off my feed I don’t even know you.” And so I said “Well then get to know me, I could become your new best friend!”

Teacher: Ok class good morning, we are going to start off by what kind of sound animals make.

Teacher: Ok, what sound does a pig make?

Class: A cow says, "moo moo."

Teacher: Good.

Teacher: What does a sheep make?

Class: A sheep says, "baa baaa."

Teacher: Good! Now what does a pig say?

Little Johnny: A pig says, "Put your hands up and get against the wall you black mother fucke*!"

What did the dinosaur eat when the dentist fixed his tooth?

The dentist!

Why did half of the world go to hell?

Because they were laughing at morbid jokes.

(You've been warned!)

You know what's the worst about having a daughter with cancer?

You can't pull her hair when you hit it from the back.

Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? At least it was a soft drink.

Do you want to go to the pool?

Yes? Well, water you waiting for?

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the idiot's door.

Knock, knock!

It's the chicken.

What is the name of the bear capital?

Koala Lumpur.

Were you born on the side of the highway because that’s where all mistakes happen?