The jokes

Orphan

What's the difference between an orphan's life and a knife?

A knife has a point.

Lie

One day my ex-best friend lied about his computer dying when he left the call and watched YouTube.

Kid

How [does] a disabled kid face [the] Jalalas?

He can't run, just hug the bomb.

Santa Claus

Santa Claus gave a child a bike and a football. The child wasn’t happy. Why?

He had no legs.

Difference

What's the difference between a high street betting firm and a prostitute?

You can get on with a prostitute!

Sister

My sister was hitting on my boyfriend. I'm 11, she's 9. She said, "Go f-ck yourself," so I said, "Okay, thanks for the idea!"

Cow

Why did the cow cross the road?

'Cause he wanted to go to a moooooooooooooooooooooooovie.

Orphan

Are the three little pigs orphans because their mom kicked them out of the house?

Fruit

Have you heard about the awesome fruit race?

The lettuce was ahead, but the tomato was able to ketchup!

Degree

How many degrees does it take to change ice into boiling water?

199, because the difference between -100 and +100 is 199 (excluding the zero, because it's not real and it doesn't exist because it's not real).

Get?

Difference

What’s the difference between me and Chester Bennington?

I know how to use an exercise band.

Sex

What's the hardest part about sex with a Thai girl?

Her, probably.

Sun

Why is the sun famous? Because it’s a shining star.

Sorry for posting this!

Gun

What's the difference between a gun and chips? When you bring it to class, everyone starts wanting to be your friend.

Orphan

Why can’t orphans build computers?

They don’t know where to put the motherboard.