The jokes
What's the difference between a prostitute and a trash bag?
There's a limit to how much trash goes in the trash bag.
Always practice safe sex: paint an X on the sheep that kick.
Why did the little girl flush herself down the toilet?
Because she wanted to join the Brownies.
My mum touched my friend, but she wasn’t the she’s only 12.
What did Paul Revere yell during a full moon?
The British are cumming! The British are cumming!
Memes
What part of a vegetable can't you eat?
The wheelchair.
How can you tell the difference between a Christian priest and a zit?
One waits until you're twelve to come on your face.
What did the kid with Parkinson's drink for breakfast?
Milkshake.
Where is the most dangerous place for a human being to be?
In the womb of a woman who wants to abort her unborn baby. 😢
Do you know why in France there is a cheese named "fromage à râpe?"
Because the cheese got raped.
The school shooter when the cops show up be like:
"Ain't nothing gonna break my stride, ain't nothing gonna hold me down. Oh oh. I've got to keep on moving."
How do Chinese people get their names? Their parents throw woks down the stairs and name their children after the sound it makes.
Q: What time does an Asian go to the dentist?
A: 2:30
The other day my mom called me a retard.
I'm now an orphan.
Q: What's an animation similar to Finding Nemo, but the fish has cancer? A: Finding Kemo.
This is a Cuphead joke.
Why did the clown drive over the cup? Cuz he wanted to CRACK him up!
What is the difference between Princess Diana and my laptop?
When my laptop crashes, I give a s**t.
When we die we get sent to heaven, but when Stephen Hawking died, he was sent to the cloud.
My girlfriend said, "GIMME EIGHT INCHES AND MAKE IT HURT!"
So I pumped my dick in her 4 times and hit her in the head with a brick.
Why did the blind man fall into the well?
He couldn’t see that well.