The jokes
A day in the life of a Biden voter.
$2000 stimulus check? Nah, $1400...some day.
No more kids in cages? Nah, more kids in cages.
$15 minimum wage? Nah, $11. Maybe.
50k loan forgiveness? Nah. Lol.
No more deportations? Nah, they're still leaving.
Women's rights? Nah, dudes in women's sports.
New COVID bill? Nah, mostly bailouts and pet projects.
Cheap insulin? Nah, jack those prices up.
Defeat fascism? Nah, barbed wire fences around DC.
What’s the worst thing about having a sister with cancer? You can’t pull on her hair.
What did the car say when it crashed? That's wheely unfortunate!
What did the first guy say to the second?
Wanna shove a banana up yo ass?
What did the basketball say to the Frisbee... "No balls."
Memes
Dad: I get to touch animals every day at the zoo.
Kid: Why?
Dad: I clean up animal s*** at the zoo.
How did Harry Potter get down the hill? Walking... J.K. Rowling.
Have I told you the joke about the airplane? Ah, forget it, it probably just went over your head.
A neutron walks into a bar and asks, "How much for a beer?"
The bartender replies, "For you? No charge!"
Two wind turbines are standing in a field.
One asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"
The other says, "Well... I'm a huge metal fan..."
Why do Catholic Irishmen in Ireland have a glory hole in the men's restroom inside their restaurants so they can give Irish kisses on Saint Patrick's Day?
What do gay men like to suck each other's bananas because they like the ice cream filling?
"Jack and Jill went home because he was sick because of the virus in town, gave him a frown, and his arms were pricked."
Why are people mad at me? All I did was tell the truth and put the Bible in the fiction section of the library.
What's the best thing about having sex with 28 year olds?
There's 20 of them.
People should stop making jokes about major tragedies. My dad died on 9/11...
He was the best pilot in Saudi Arabia.
If I was a raped victim, would silence be the best medicine?
Why can't you trust the atom? 'Cause they make up everything.
What do you call an emo dating another emo?
The suicide duo.
Roses are red, The forest is bushy, OMG did you just cum in my pussy?