The jokes
Someone eats glue and tells the other, "Sorry, can't stick around!"
She likes the Donkey-Punch. She likes the Dirty Sanchez. Sometimes she even likes to fool around in your bed!
What is the difference between an American and an orphan?
They don't have a home to get their guns.
Why couldn't the sunflower ride its bike? It lost its petals!
Q: Why do Americans fish with guns?
A: To shoot up the whole school.
Memes
What's the difference between Kobe Bryant and Jeffrey Epstein?
Only 2 13-year-olds went down on Kobe's helicopter.
What's the difference between a gay man and a freezer?
A freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
In the hospital, I saw a girl with cancer trying to sleep. The ICU was going beep beep beep. I think that's why she can't sleep, so I turned it off. She's asleep forever now. Nighty night.
What's the difference between a seal and a special kid?
They both go: "Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh!"
What’s long, green, and smells like bacon?
Kermit the frog’s fingers.
"What did one wall say to the other?"
"I'll meet you at the corner!"
Yo mama so fat, when she went up the elevator, the World Trade Center collapsed.
A cop pulls two Arabian men over, walks up to their window, and says, "We are looking for two child molesters!"
Now after a short pause, the two men look at each other, then back at the officer and say, "We'll do it!"
My husband left a note on the fridge that said, “This isn’t working.”
I'm not sure what he's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it’s working fine? Anyone know what he means?
Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born the doctor slapped your grandma.
Hickory dickory dock, the mouse ran up the clock.
He finally got up there, but a bird stole his co-.
I've come to the conclusion that Trump is the fifth Teletubby.
He's fat, orange, and speaks in gibberish all the time.
Hear about the guy who dipped his nuts in glitter?
Pretty nuts!
What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
I don’t know, flags big plus.
The Israeli government is the biggest joke of all.