The jokes

I didn't come into the prostitution business...

It came into me.

Jack and Jill Went up the hill to have some hanky panky.

Silly Jill forgot her pill. And now there's little Franky.

Being an orphan isn't all bad. On the bright side, all your snacks are family-sized.

I was playing hangman, and I gave up on the word "LIFE".

Isn't Gwen the most thoughtful person?

Money and my mom are kinda the same thing; they come and leave easily.

Neo-Confederates all claim to be about "heritage" not "hate". Well, if your heritage consists of Kelly Clarkson, riding on siblings, and treating Donald Trump as if he's the second coming, then it really sucks to be you.

My German girlfriend likes to rate our sex on a scale of 1-10.

Last night we tried anal, and she kept shouting “9!”

That's the best I've done so far.

What’s the key to a successful relationship?

Consent.

How is having fun with a prostitute like bungee jumping?

You’re dead if the rubber breaks.

What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? You slap her on the ass and tell her to get back to work.

Why do they make glow-in-the-dark condoms?

So gay people can play Star Wars.

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? Yeah, he's all right now.

The people in Florida yelling "White Power!" is amusing, because when they get permanent sunburn from the Florida sun, they are not white anymore.

What's the traditional food of Black Jews? - Kosher watermelon...

Why do black people only have nightmares? Because the last one who had a dream was shot.

So, I was in the woods the other day raping this woman when she screamed, 'Please! Think of my children!'

I thought, 'Ooo, you kinky bitch.'

Apparently, as a 4-year-old, Hitler was saved from drowning in the river Passau by a local priest.

Goes to show once more that a lot of problems would be solved if priests could just keep their hands off kids.

How do you know when a woman is going to have a black baby?

When she takes the tampon out, all the cotton is picked.

Imagine working at the World Trade Center, only for Osama bin Laden to call and ask if he could crash at your place.