The jokes
Walked into a bar the other day and a group of sailors were being loud and shouting about all the women they have in port that had given them gonorrhea...
Bloody seamen.
Operation failed in North Korea, the surgeon died.
Fail and fall mean the same thing when it’s downstairs.
What part of a vegetable is the hardest to eat?
The wheelchair.
You know, life as a pufferfish is tough. They get startled, then they get hard.
Memes
What did the toilet paper say to the other toilet paper?
"Hey, check me out! I'm on a roll!" 😂😂🤭🤭
Why did the zebra cross the road?
Because he wanted to go to the Shell station.
Why did Steven Hawkins go to hell?
Because he couldn't walk the stairs to heaven.
I was gonna tell you a joke about my abusive dad...
But I only remember the punch line👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊
Why was the kid not able to cross the hallway?
Answer: The school shooter already shot him in the middle of the hallway.
What’s black and sits on top of the stairs?
Christopher Reeves in a house fire.
What did the minute hand say to the hour hand?
Why are you so tall?
What’s the difference between being a genius and being an idiot?
Being a genius has its limits.
My wife left me and took the kids.
Did you ever hear the story about the broken pencil?
That's okay. There is really no point to it.
Playing a game called 7-Up.
Student: Why can't I use a pencil to tap their fingers?
Teacher: It's cheating!
Student: No! It's the object of the game.
Q: What did the man say after removing another man's hat? A: He was decapitated.
Bank owner: If you want to start a bank account, I need your name.
Guy: Robin
Bank owner: Your last name?
Guy: Debank
Bank owner: Robin Debank?
Guy: Put your hands up and give me all the money!
How did Stephen Hawking die?
They unplugged the Wi-Fi cord.
What did the pond brother say to his lake sister?
"Oasis!" (Oh, hey sis!)