The jokes
Yo mama is so ugly she's really the reason phone screens cracked!
Did you hear about the two burglars that stole a calendar?
I hear they got six months each.
No matter how big the jar, there is one thing that can never fit inside it. What is it?
Did you hear about the band Manhole? I hear they're a metal cover.
What do you call a country who needs another race just to be the best country in sports?
America.
Memes
What is the difference between a hoe's birth Daddy and her pimp Daddy?
The first daddy plants the seed in a cunt, and the second reaps the harvest from the cunt.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
What’s the difference between apples and orphans?
Apples get picked!
What did the iceberg say to the Titanic?
"Go fuck yourself... at the bottom of the sea."
How are genders different than the Twin Towers?
There are two genders.
Yesterday on the school bus my friend in front of me said she was 41% Irish and 15% Mexican.
Then my friend sitting next to me said, “Wow, almost half leprechaun!”
Then I said, “Yeah, and 15 percent wall climber!”
Bully: You're a loser and fat.
Me: Shut up. The camera thought you were a house.
What's long and black, the line to KFC.
What did one casket say to the other casket?
"Is that you coughin'?"
Why did everyone run from the Mexican when he went to the snack bar?
He said "¡Hola snack bar!" ¡Hola means hello in Spanish.
Where did Joe go after getting lost on the mine field?
Everywhere.
Ex Of Johnnys: I have a question.
Johnny: What?
Ex Of Johnnys: Am I pretty?
Johnny: Yes ofc jesus made everybody wonderfully!
Ex: Awhh!
Johnny: But whoever made you was painting Thomas the Train while making your face.
My uncle died in 9/11. He was in the plane that crashed in the field.
What did the Chinese man say to his wife?
I'll chin you later.
What happened when the depressed kid went to give it a high five?
It left him hanging.