The jokes
What could've the Towers done to not start 9/11?
Call 911.
What's the difference between family and cats...
Cats won't abuse you at Christmas.
Heard the phrase "one man's trash is another man's treasure"? Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out you're adopted.
Why didn't the koala make the football team? Because it got diskoalafied!
I asked to borrow a book from the library. It was titled "Suicide in Ten Easy Steps." The cunt just stood and said, "Cheeky bastard, you won't bring it back!"
I’ll never forget my Grandfather’s last words to me just before he died. “Are you still holding the ladder?”
Why do girls scratch their eyes in the morning?
Because they don't have another pair of balls.
If I had a genie grant me wishes, I wouldn't wish for a million pounds. I'd just wish that every time I buy something I just have the right amount of money in my pocket at the time.
Why did the old man fall down a well?
He couldn't see that well.
Santa Claus gives a child a bike. The child was mad. Why? He had no legs.
A man in Saudi Arabia was caught stealing hand sanitiser.
The silver lining for him is that he will not need hand sanitiser anymore!
You know the saying "One man's trash is another man's treasure?"
Wonderful saying! Horrible way to find out you're adopted! :DD
I am the ice cream man running over fat kids with my van. If you touch my van, I’ll smack you in the face with a frying pan. If you steal ice cream, I’ll shoot you in the face with a fudge machine.
"Jump in the Cadillac, girl, let's put some miles on it."
A depressed man has been thinking of killing himself, and his friend says, "Find Jesus instead, he'll help you!"
And then the man says, "It's pretty hard to 'get help' from something that doesn't exist."
Jack and Jill went up the hill to go and swim in some shit. Jack forgot to bring some goggles and floaty, and now they have a daughter.
Secret: Jill didn’t go in the shit yet. Jack went in first and died! :D
Why are Demons dying from Priestwater? The soul from a Priest is completely different.
What’s the difference between Hitler and a bug?
Nothing.
Most of the people here: That's not funny, lots of people died.
Bruh, why are you in here if you can't take a joke?
Odo walks down the alley and turns into a bar.