The jokes

Why did the chicken cross the towers?

Because he ordered a plane pizza and didn’t get to the other side.

If you don't like the video in 10 seconds, James Charles will sleep with you tonight.

Last night I was watching a Scotland Christmas movie...

And the part when Mary tells Joseph that she is pregnant, Joseph was surprised, and he exclaimed, "Jesus Christ!!!" I immediately stopped watching and changed the channel.

Wife: Honey! Do you like tea?

Husband: No, I like after "T"!

It means: the letter "U": you!

I went to my local shooting range today but was surprised to see that the news reported a school shooting there. I still don't know who snitched...

What's the grossest mission NASA could do?

Probing Uranus.

What was going through the student's heads during a school shooting?

Bullets.

The only profession where one could have coronavirus and still go to work is a suicide terrorist.

What time is it when you get home? Can you walk walk and a car and get home and get a walk home and get a dog 🐕? Today is the night I can drive.

Mary is hanging out, and the angel Gabriel descends behind her. She looks behind her and says, "Jesus Christ!" and the angel Gabriel said, "So you already know."

Why was the Ethiopian baby crying?

It was having a mid-life crisis.

I could never forget my grandfather's last words. "Stop shaking the ladd-"

How do you get an emo out of a tree?

You cut the rope.

What's the best way to find the Twin Towers?

Bucket.

The Bigfoots had a campfire. One Bigfoot asked what should we roast next. The other replied, "Maybe a penis and a girl."

What was the score of the basketball game in Africa?

Eight-nothing.

Why is the wheel the best invention?

Because it's wheely wheely great!

What did one tampon say to the other tampon?

Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches!

Why didn't the chicken cross the road?

Social distancing.

Me: I’m gonna smite the life out of you!!!

Orphan: What! No! Please no!

Me: What you gonna do? Run home and tell your parents? Wait, I forgot, you don’t have a home or parents!!!!