The jokes
The parents who left their kids on the side of the road should have thought twice and got an abortion.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple can trace back its family tree.
Little Johnny got a dog without ears, and then they invited their neighbors over. Then they asked what his name was. The owners said, "We didn't name him anything, because there's no reason. Because when we called his name, he wouldn't come."
What's the difference between a mole and an eagle?
They both live underground, except for the eagle.
Where do gorillas get all the "pussy" from? The strip club, which is called "Poker Kong Night."
My girl asked me if I had seen a gorilla anywhere. I told her yes, I did see one a minute ago at the Central Park Zoo. He said if you don't behave, he will take you back to the jungle and have your ass abandoned for good.
What did the cell phone say to his wife?
"I will give you a ring."
Q: Why did the cow touch an electric fence?
A: Because it wanted to get electrocowted! 🐄
You and me went up to stab your father. He was out, do not pout. They are coming after.
(Wait, forgot about the 3rd third thing.) I have said this countless times, but it doesn't seem to be getting through to you: quit hating on particular jokes. You don't like it? Nobody cares. Don't go into the morbid jokes category, you idiots, ffs!
Suck all the bread!
I remember my grandad's last words: "Are you still holding the ladder?"
Why didn’t the moon eat dinner?
Because it was full! 🌕
What’s the difference between being a genius and being an idiot?
Being a genius has its limits.
My wife left me and took the kids.
Me on my way to the principal's office after the trans kid told me to act my age, so I told him to act his gender.
What do you get when you cross the terms homeless and abandoned?
POORphan
If your wife dies of childbirth, can you press charges on the baby?
What did the toilet paper say to the other toilet paper?
"Hey, check me out! I'm on a roll!" 😂😂🤭🤭
Walked into a bar the other day and a group of sailors were being loud and shouting about all the women they have in port that had given them gonorrhea...
Bloody seamen.