The jokes
What did the iceberg say to the Titanic?
"Go fuck yourself... at the bottom of the sea."
What is the difference between a hoe's birth Daddy and her pimp Daddy?
The first daddy plants the seed in a cunt, and the second reaps the harvest from the cunt.
What's the best way to find the Twin Towers?
Bucket.
I went to my local shooting range today but was surprised to see that the news reported a school shooting there. I still don't know who snitched...
Me: I’m gonna smite the life out of you!!!
Orphan: What! No! Please no!
Me: What you gonna do? Run home and tell your parents? Wait, I forgot, you don’t have a home or parents!!!!
Wife: Honey! Do you like tea?
Husband: No, I like after "T"!
It means: the letter "U": you!
What's the grossest mission NASA could do?
Probing Uranus.
Why didn't Biden get the virus?
He sniffed everyone!
What's the difference between my basement and my garage?
One has a pile of babies' bodies; the other has their heads.
The only profession where one could have coronavirus and still go to work is a suicide terrorist.
What did one tampon say to the other tampon?
Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches!
What was the score of the basketball game in Africa?
Eight-nothing.
What happens when two pieces of bread from the same loaf have sex?
They become in-bread.
Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
Social distancing.
The Bigfoots had a campfire. One Bigfoot asked what should we roast next. The other replied, "Maybe a penis and a girl."
No matter how big the jar, there is one thing that can never fit inside it. What is it?
What happens to a cannibal who shows up late for dinner? He gets the cold shoulder.
I got hit by a bus.
But the bus was my ex.
Why is the wheel the best invention?
Because it's wheely wheely great!
Did you hear about the band Manhole? I hear they're a metal cover.