The jokes

What’s the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body? I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.

A horse walks into a bar.

Several of the patrons quickly get up and leave, realizing the potential danger in the situation.

What did the receptionist at the sperm bank say when you were leaving? "Thanks for coming!" 😉😉

What's the best haircut?

Chemotherapy.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high and grabbed Jill’s thigh and said, “You know you wanna.” Jill said yes and pulled up her dress, and then they had some fun, but silly Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.

I got kicked out of the hospital for saying, "Stay Positive," to the corona patients.

Why are women like KFC?

After you've finished with the thigh and breasts, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.

Q: Why did the young boy ask his parents to take him to the Cowboys’ AT&T Stadium during the tornado warning?

A: He said, “There’s never a touchdown there.”

No one has the right to look down on others unless you're perfect, and looking down on others is not perfect either.

It's just true.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

Because he died.

At my funeral, take the bouquet off the coffin and throw it into the crowd to see who's next.

Girl: Daddy, I've been a bad girl.

Priest: For the last time, it's "Father, I have sinned."

What is the hardest part about being a pedophile? Fitting in.

I put the sexy in dyslexia.

How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, they just arrest the lightbulb for being broke and beat the room for being black.

Two atoms are walking down the street, and they run into each other. One says to the other, "Are you all right?" "No, I lost an electron!" "Are you sure?" "Yeah, I’m positive!"

If Chuck Norris was a Spartan in the movie 300, the movie would be called 1.

Did you hear about the fortune telling dwarf that escaped from prison?

Reports say there's a small medium at large!

Father and mother are making love in the bedroom. Mother is on top of father. Suddenly, the son enters the bedroom. Everyone is embarrassed, of course.

The next morning, the mother takes the little boy aside and says, "I'll tell you about what you saw yesterday. You know, Dad has a big belly, and that's why Mom sometimes sits on top of that belly to push it flat." The little boy says, "But Mama, that does not make any difference." "Oh no?" the mom asks. "No," says the little boy, "When you go to work, the neighbor comes, and she puts herself on her knees for Dad, and she blows his belly up again!"

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke marijuana. Jack got high, pulled down his fly, and asked if she wanna. Jill said yes and pulled up her dress, and they had a little fun. Stupid Jill forgot the pill, now they have a son.