The jokes
What did the receptionist at the sperm bank say when you were leaving? "Thanks for coming!" 😉😉
What's the best haircut?
Chemotherapy.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high and grabbed Jill’s thigh and said, “You know you wanna.” Jill said yes and pulled up her dress, and then they had some fun, but silly Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.
I got kicked out of the hospital for saying, "Stay Positive," to the corona patients.
Why are women like KFC?
After you've finished with the thigh and breasts, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.
Q: Why did the young boy ask his parents to take him to the Cowboys’ AT&T Stadium during the tornado warning?
A: He said, “There’s never a touchdown there.”
No one has the right to look down on others unless you're perfect, and looking down on others is not perfect either.
It's just true.
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
Because he died.
Girl: Daddy, I've been a bad girl.
Priest: For the last time, it's "Father, I have sinned."
What is the hardest part about being a pedophile? Fitting in.
I put the sexy in dyslexia.
How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they just arrest the lightbulb for being broke and beat the room for being black.
So, a daughter asks her father, "Dad, what is your opinion on abortions?" Her father says, "Why don't you ask your sister?" The daughter responds, "But I don't have a sister... Oh."
According to a recent survey, replacing words with the names of musical instruments in a sentence often goes undetected.
Two atoms are walking down the street, and they run into each other. One says to the other, "Are you all right?" "No, I lost an electron!" "Are you sure?" "Yeah, I’m positive!"
If Chuck Norris was a Spartan in the movie 300, the movie would be called 1.
I still remember the last words my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket. He said, “Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?”
Did you hear about the fortune telling dwarf that escaped from prison?
Reports say there's a small medium at large!
Father and mother are making love in the bedroom. Mother is on top of father. Suddenly, the son enters the bedroom. Everyone is embarrassed, of course.
The next morning, the mother takes the little boy aside and says, "I'll tell you about what you saw yesterday. You know, Dad has a big belly, and that's why Mom sometimes sits on top of that belly to push it flat." The little boy says, "But Mama, that does not make any difference." "Oh no?" the mom asks. "No," says the little boy, "When you go to work, the neighbor comes, and she puts herself on her knees for Dad, and she blows his belly up again!"
Yo mama so poor, the ducks throw bread at her.