The jokes
When your grades get mailed to your house when you expect to get them in school.
When you get home, your mom is there with the belt, going 1k miles per hour.
I was on a flight to California, but my next in the Empire State Building.
What is the difference between an orphan and a criminal?
Only one is wanted.
What part of a vegetable can you not eat?
The wheelchair.
Went to the doctor, told him I've been having dreams, first about a wigwam, then about a teepee. He said I was too tense.
Memes
Why do orphans ride the bus? Because they have no parents to drop them off.
Do you know what the "f" in "orphan" stands for? Family. Oh wait, there is no "f."
When the bully says, "You're adopted," so you hit him with, "At least someone wanted me!"
One morning I saw three kids were bullying one other kid because they didn't have a dad...
Later that day the three same kids were walking toward an orphanage. :)
Today I passed the exams to be a funeral director!
Too bad it's a dying trade. :)
The secrets of life.
Mac & Cheese.
Why did the joke die?
Because it's a meme!
Were you born on the streets? Because that's where most accidents happen.
Me: Mom, can I have some makeup?
Mom: No. You are beautiful just the way you are.
Me: So that’s why you wear makeup?
Why are Christmas trees banned at the mental hospital?
They would hang themselves like ornaments.
"Batteries, batteries, who the batteries in your remotes and everything else you got in your house is turned upside down?"
I caught my wife this morning gazing at our marriage license of long ago that hangs upon our wall with tears in her eye!
Almost got teary eyed myself until she told me she was only looking for the expiration date!
What’s under the bottom?
Your legs.
Why did the chicken cross the road to get to the playground?
What fell first, the feather or the depressed kid?
Q: The feather, the depressed kid is still up there.