The jokes

When the emo girl is in a movie and the director says, "Cut."

As the Navy SEALs burst into Osama Bin Laden's room in his Pakistani compound, his last dying words forever rang in the ears of the SEALs...

"It was just a prank bro."

My girlfriend got COVID.

This is the perfect time to propose to her. She might just say yes because of the lack of taste.

What do gingers miss most at a grate party?

The invitation.

What’s the difference between Batman and the Black Panther?

Batman returns.

What’s the difference between Usain Bolt and Hitler?

Usain finished the races.

They say you should love your neighbor. Does that mean I have to love the president?

Your dad is so f**king fat that when he bends over and comes back up, it's the next day.

The term "every 60 seconds" is so stupid.

You know Africans don’t get seconds.

I don’t know why I go to the gym. Being healthy is dying as fast as possible, and I really want to speed that shit up.

I asked the emo kid if he was depressed that his phone died before him.

What’s a priest's favorite sport?

Golf, because most of the holes are less than 18.

What did the Buddhist say to the pizza delivery boy?

"Make me one with everything."

What did the sushi say to the bee?

Wa sa Bee.

I went to the aquarium this weekend, but I didn’t stay long. There’s something fishy about that place.

If your house is cold, just stand in the corner. It's always 90 degrees there.

What’s the difference between jelly and jam?

You can’t “jelly” it in her ass.

What’s one thing you can say during a family dinner and in bed?

"Where are the kids?"

Why is it so cheap to throw a party at a haunted house? Because the ghosts bring all the boos.

Did you know your pupils are the last part to stop working when you die? They dilate.