The jokes
How are women like swimming pools?
They cost a great deal of money to maintain considering the time you spend inside.
Why can't Chinese people play baseball?
Because they ate the bat.
What's the difference between Pink Floyd and George Floyd?
When Pink Floyd can't breathe, it's because all their fans are smoking pot.
How did the Emo ask the other Emo out?
"Wanna hang together?"
What type of game is Africa playing at the moment?
The Hunger Games!
Q. How does an ISIS terrorist practice safe sex?
A. He marks the camels that kick.
Why was the Mexican scared of cold water?
It might turn into ICE.
How do 4 gay guys fit on one stool at the same time?
They flip it over.
Yo mama so fat that she would die before reaching the gates of heaven.
Q: What's another name for cumming inside a woman?
A: Loading up the dishwasher.
The farmers were playing chess, and the winner shouted and said: "I killed your horse!"
The second quickly left, and when he returned he said: "We have poisoned all your cows!"
There was someone who slept late... he missed the dream!
Ted Bundy walks into a bar wearing all black. The bartender asks, “Whose funeral is it?”
Ted Bundy looks around the room and replies, “I haven’t decided yet.”
The show COPS has been dropped from broadcast,
honoring the longstanding tradition of police turning off their cameras.
How do you break up two blind guys fighting?
Yell, "My money's on the guy with the knife!"
What's the easiest way to make a glow worm happy? Cut off its tail—it'll be delighted!
Why did the African 3 year old cry?
He was having a midlife crisis.
If all women disappeared one day, it would be a pain in the ass.
Marriage is really educational.
When I was single, I didn't even know there was a wrong way to put a fork in the dishwasher.
What made Adam and Eve's marriage perfect?
He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn't have to hear about his Mom's cooking.