The jokes
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
Quote of the day:
Just one small positive thought in the morning can change your whole day.
[Comment your favorite fall beverage!]
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
What did the plane say to the towers: "Can't go over it, can't go under it, oh no, we got to go through it."
What is the difference between your dad and a boomerang? The boomerang comes back.
Memes
I want to run. I go Iran, because I RAN, not IRAN, because it’s an Iran joke about the country, not the movement.
Why did the flamingo cross the road?
Because it was the chicken's day off.
Which one fell first, the Emo Kid or the apple?
The apple, because the rope caught the kid.
Yo mama so fat, she went to the moon without leaving Earth.
Your hairline is so far away that Jesus could've seen it when he was on the cross.
Stop making 9/11 jokes, guys! My uncle died in that event. He was the best Arabian pilot in the world!
Wife: [Looks] in the mirror. Wife: I look fat, can you say something positive? Husband: At least your eyes work.
What did the parents rearrange the furniture to punish a child?
Guess he was a stupid blind motherfucker 🖕 that didn't even know how to use a cane to figure out where they put the furniture.
What’s the difference between 9/11 and a cow?
You can’t milk a cow for 15 years.
Why did the man go across the train tracks to get to the other side?
Why did oozy go to the toilet to eat trains?
What does the cent say when it says hello? It waves.
Your hairline and the universe have one thing in common: they’re yet to be discovered.
Being a police officer in Nunavut must be so fun. They get to play Cut the Rope on the job all the time!
A boy's hairline is always in the back of his head, and its shape is like a check mark.