The jokes
What did one ghost say to the other?
"Get a life!"
What did the bee say to the flower?
"Hey bud! When do you open?"
My mom told me to unplug all the electronics, so I unplugged my grandma's life support.
Two men walk into a bar, the third one ducks.
"Look, Ma! I peed in the pool!"
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They can’t get to home run!
Long hair Danny, the fanny.
Yo mama is so fat that she is not wrong when she says the world revolves around her.
What's the same about boxes and children?
They're both found in basements.
What's the difference between the Barracuda car and a fish?
The fish can't go fast.
What did the big tree say to the little one? Grow a pear!
Why can orphans go to Thacker Jewelry?
They love to see the whole family.
You: OMG I CAN'T BELIEVE ALL THE KRAP THEY HAVE BEEN THROUGH!
The other person: Who?
You aka answer: Your Butt cheeks.
SCP-173 has breached containment. This is not a joke. Multiple Keter class SCPs have breached containment. This is an XK class event. Evacuate the Earth and solar system. The world is ending!
-->[] go through the door if you can.
How do you get a blonde to drown? You tell them the bottom of the pool smells weird.
Why was the director injured?
He couldn't find the right cast!
Q: What's the similarity between a dog and a bed?
A: I can jump on my bed. A: And I use a pillow on both of them.
There is a similarity between my wallet and an onion.
They always make me cry.
Husband: Hey, my dear, this lunch is great. Where did you find the recipe?
Wife: In a detective novel.