The jokes
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and a cow?
You can't milk the same cow for 15 years.
What did the plane say to the twin towers?
"Lmao, you twins don't know how to play Jenga. Here, let me show you how!" (BOOM) ;)
Not sure if the Twin Towers were destroyed or if they were just purposely demolished. 🖐️😀
What does a Rubik's cube and a penis have in common?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
Why did the guitar teacher get arrested?
For fingering the minor.
Memes
Did you hear about the blonde who walked into a bar?......... It hurt.
What's the difference between a gay man and a hairline?
The hairline is way straighter.
When your mom tells you there's a present in the laundry room,
The present: Laundry.
*gunshot*
Do you want to know how the NY Jets got their name?
My heart broke as I went down the stairs, and my girlfriend broke her heart.
What type of people have the record of the most amount of stories read?
Emos, they're still in the air.
A few years ago I had a brush with cancer...
All of the bristles fell out!
I saw an orphan on the road. I asked him if he's an orphan. The kid says, "Yeah, what gave it away?"
I say, "Your parents."
Me: "Cya"
Mom: "Where ya going?"
Me: "The orphanage to make yo mama jokes."
Mum: ...
Thanks to the voice who keeps telling me to let go,
he is my only motivation for trying again.
When I dunk my cookies in milk, I think of you. I hold them down until the bubbles stop.
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
They stuck a plunger down the toilet.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To cock-a-doodle die...
Sister: Wanna know the difference between your singing and your flute playing?
Me: Sure... (Expecting a completely different response than what I get.)
Sister: Nvm, they have no difference.
Me: *Confused*
Sister: They're both horrible.
Why was the soldier reading the Geneva convention?
To-do list.