I had a dream that I was destroying the world, and I blew up my house for fun. I woke up and couldn't find my pillow... nor the house.
I heard that the World Orphan Organization has a sponsor... DC Comics.
Why have there been so many deaths around the world?
Trees and ropes.
The world has turned upside down. Orphans are now being homeschooled.
What's the best cheese in the world?
Dick cheese.
Sheep want to wool the world :)
Canada being the most educated country in the world is bemusing, considering that Canadians cannot spell "legalise" and "programme" correctly.
Oh, and most of them do not realise that it's day-month-year, NOT month-day-year.
The highest level of trust in the world is when two cannibals are each giving each other blowjobs.
When they said Titanic was "unsinkable," then they said, "The World Trade Centers was uncollapsible."
Tonight, on top gear! James may dives a bus full of kids off a mountain! Richard Hammond starts WW3 in Germany! and I fly a plane into the World Trade Center!
What does a girl want more than anything in the world?
Nothing. She's fine.
Why did half of the world not see Avengers: Endgame?
Because half of them were Thanos snapped in Avengers: Infinity War.
The world is a freaking rape joke
If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world.
The pastor sees little Johnny sitting on the church steps. Little Johnny is fixated on something. The pastor looks closer and sees that Johnny is stirring up something in an old coffee can. He says, "What you got there little Johnny?"
"This here is turpentine, the most POWERFUL liquid in the world!", says Johnny.
The pastor shakes his head, sits down next to Johnny, and says, "Now you know that's not true, son. Holy water is the most powerful liquid in the world. One drop of holy water on a pregnant woman's stomach and the next morning she'll pass a baby boy."
Little Johnny says, "Well that may be true, but one drop of this on a cat's ass and he'll pass a motorcycle!"
For every blonde in the world,
scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.
Let's say I was immortal. No matter what I did, I would be alive. But, the catch is I’m the least flexible and least strong person in the world.
Now, I get my head chopped off. What would I do? I would roll over to my headless body and figure out what it's like to suck my own dick.
Farrah Fawcett, upon arriving at the pearly gates, God asked her, for having led such an honest life, to grant her one wish. Farrah simply requested that the children of the world would be safe.
Five hours later, Michael Jackson died.
You are the reason why child abortion still exists in the world.
What is the smallest skyscraper in the world? The World Trade Centre.
