The World jokes

Doctor: What makes you feel depressed?

Me: I used to work at the World Trade Center, before the plane hit.

Doctor: A lot of people fell to pieces after that.

The more people who like to eat Tide Pods, the less idiots we have in the world. 😁

Francis Pope, Donald Trump, Barack Obama, and a little boy were on a falling airplane. There were 3 parachutes. Donald Trump grabs the first parachute and jumps off the plane saying, “The world needs my leadership!” Barack Obama grabs a parachute and says, “I need to help make choices for our world,” so he jumps off the plane. At this point, the Pope and the little boy are on the plane. The Pope says to the boy, “take the last parachute, I am too old and I’m going to die soon one day.” The little boy says, “actually there are two, you see, Donald Trump took my backpack.”

Who are the fastest readers in the world?

9/11 victims. They went through 80 stories in 7 seconds. In case you didn't see that one coming, don't feel bad, they didn't either.

In some places in the world, you can't get an abortion even after rape. That's so fucked up.

You serve your time, you get out, and you STILL have to pay child support. What a nightmare.

How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. They just hold it in the socket and expect the world to revolve around them.

What are the two hottest cities in the world? Hiroshima and Nagasaki.

The best joke in the world is me.

Don't say that you're not a joke. Jokes have meanings.

Toto is at school and asks if he can go to the bathroom. The teacher says no.

Then, she asks Toto, “Where is the biggest river in the world?”

“Under my bench,” he replies.

My daughter is the most adorable little girl in the world. She's got my sister's eyes.

The world exploded, so now I need to visit Uranus.

How is the world like dirt?

Because we don't think twice about it.

How do you create the world's quickest human pyramid?

Turn on the gas chamber.

How many feminists do you need to change a light bulb?

One. She puts the bulb up and waits for the world to revolve around her.

...just kidding-

- none. They can't change anything.

When you're depressed about the world :( but you remember you will soon die :)

What is the world's greatest invention? The ball gag, do you know why? Honestly, officer, I never heard her say no.

The only thing brighter than my future is the fire on the World Trade Center.

How do you stop a MeToo feminazi from telling the world about being raped? Easy: just rape her mouth shut.

9/11 wasn’t a terrorist attack, it was the world’s introduction to Sky Football

What's Gru's favorite Beyoncé lyric? "Who run the world... Gorls."