The World jokes

Three sons left home, went out into the world, and each of them made a lot of money. During a reunion, they discussed the gifts they'd given to their elderly mum.

"I built a big house for our mum," said the first.

"I sent her a Mercedes, with a chauffeur," said the second.

And the third smiled and said, "I think my gift was the best. You know how much mum enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know that her eyes aren't so good anymore? Well, I sent her a remarkable cockatoo that recites the entire Bible, both old and new testaments. It took a priest twelve years to teach him. That cockatoo is the only one in the world that can do it. All mum has to do is name the chapter and verse, and the cockatoo recites it."

A few days later, mum sent out her thankyou letters. She wrote to the first son,

"The house you built is so enormous that I only live in one room. The trouble is, I have to clean the whole house."

To the second son she said, "I'm far too old to travel anymore. I stay at home most of the time, so I've hardly used the Mercedes. In any case, the driver is so rude."

To the third son she wrote "Dearest Freddie. You have the good sense to know what your mum likes. The chicken was delicious!"

Your dick is so small they thought you were a girl when you came into the world.

What kind of pizzas did they last order at the World Trade Center?

Two large planes!

Why do people hate jokes about the World Trade Center?

Because it's an easy target.

There are millions of people in the world, yet you are here.

There's a plane going down over the desert with only 3 parachutes on board. There are four people onboard: the smartest man in the world, the best doctor in the world, an old priest, and a young nerd. The doctor says, "People need me for my medical skills," grabs the first parachute pack, and jumps. The smartest man in the world says, "People need me for my intelligence," grabs a pack, and jumps. The old priest says, "I have lived a long and happy life. You take the last chute." The nerd says, "Don't worry. There are enough chutes for the both of us. The smartest man in the world just grabbed my backpack."

One night a guy asked his wife where she wanted to eat. She said, "Chinese food," so he flew her to China. The next night, he asked her what she wanted to eat. She said, "Indian food," so he flew her to India. The last night, he said, "What do you want to eat?" and she said she wanted nothing, so he flew her to Africa.

The most powerful thing in the world is babies. This is because they cry and get what every they want.

Leo might not be the dumbest person in the world... but she’d better hope they don’t DIE!

Are people still mad at Hasan from that dog incident? All he wanted to do was become the world’s first lightningbender.

What’s the most emo country in the world?

Qatar.

I was just chilling in the World Trade Center and got airplane wifi.

What is the biggest candy in the world?

Candy Borobudur.

Imagine this scenario: a doctor walks in and tells the patient that he has all the illnesses in the world like this: "You have depression, diarrhea, cancer,... etc." and then the last one on the list is that he is deaf.

What's the sharpest thing in the world?

A fart... it goes straight through your pants without leaving a hole.

What's it like to have the best daughter in the world? You'll have to ask grandma!

I remember when I was a kid, I thought the world used to be colorless.

I was kinda right. They used to not let colors in a lot of areas.

you look like a dumb crab. When everyone sees you, the world will end.

Even the World Trade Center underwent a better upgrade than your ugly ass.

When you are chilling in the World Trade Center, and then you suddenly get airplane WiFi.