That jokes
Why do people think that monsters are scary? Cuz they are so stupid.
What do you call a dog that can fly? A magic dog!
Q: What did the Iceberg say to the Titanic?
A: I'd hit that.
Q. What do you call a goose that thinks he's a goat?
A. A Billy Goose.
How about that airplane food? I eat it when I'm high.
What do you call an airplane that doesn’t fly?
A plane wingless.
Why did the orphan cross the street? Because they thought that mommy and daddy was on the other side.
I don't get why people don't like my abortion jokes. Do they have a stick up their ass? Wait, that's the other hole.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the side that he was not on.
What is a dog that you can drive?
A big doggy car.
What do you call a cat 🐈 that is glued down? A big cluck.
We saved a Swiss flag from a house fire. I thought that's a plus.
A cow went into a pride of lions' territory.
Since that moment, he knew his life was on the stake.
What do you call a cow that doesn't stop shaking?
A milkshake.
A guy was on trial for murder, and if convicted, would get the electric chair. His brother found out that a redneck was on the jury and figured he would be the one to bribe. He told the redneck that he would be paid $10,000 if he could convince the rest of the jury to reduce the charge to manslaughter.
The jury was out an entire week and returned with a verdict of manslaughter.
After the trial, the brother went to the redneck's house, told him what a great job he had done, and paid him the $10,000.
The redneck replied that it wasn't easy to convince the rest of the jury to change the charge to manslaughter. They all thought he was not guilty and wanted to let him go.
Two people just met. One said, “We should do some bonding.” The other nodded and said back, “Titanic.” The first just looked confused so the second one just said, “Sorry, thought that would be a good icebreaker.”
Sans: haha... Paps: what? Sans: i KNEW it was gonna rain today. Paps: that's nearly impossible, how? Sans: i could feel it in my bo- Paps: OH MY GOD STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A man was sitting in the restaurant and ordered a whole buffet. He is visited by an oracle. Apollo says, "If you eat that buffet, everyone you love will die."
"Up yours," the man said, "What are they going to die of, famine?"
Moments later, there was an incident that took place in the restaurant. Everyone literally died. It turned out the restaurant had a B-. I said, "Is that really a thing groaning on the hospital?"
The doctor said, "Know that is your condition, you have hepatitis B-."
"What the FU***** SH**"
Apollo is sitting in Mount Olympus, dying also in laughter.
I am sick and tired of horror movies; it is always the stupid ones that die first. When you see a guy in a dark, bloody coat and a knife, he ain't there to just look at yah run; don't scream, run!
I may not be that good with puns on this site, but I got a skele-ton of jokes. Hey, what's the matter pal, is there something crawling under your skin?