Texas jokes
The American Dream is real. It's just set and filmed in Toronto and not Texas.
Do you think John F. Kennedy went for a ride in Dallas just to clear his head because his wife said he was close-minded?
Did you ever think that John F. Kennedy went for a ride in Dallas just to clear his head?
Difference between Texas and Flint, Michigan?
Nothing, no one cares how much lead is in those kids.
What’s the difference between Texas and Flint, Michigan?
Nothing; no one cares how much lead is in the kids.
A young cowboy entered a seedy cafe in a small West Texas town.
He sat at the counter and spotted an elderly cowboy with his arms folded and his gaze fixed on a bowl of chili. After roughly 15 minutes of staring at it, the young cowboy boldly inquired, “If you’re not going to eat it, do you mind if I do?” Slowly turning his head toward the young wrangler, the older cowboy muttered, in his best cowboy voice, “Nah. Go ahead.”
The young cowboy eagerly reached over and slid the bowl over to his spot, spooning it in with glee. He was almost to the bottom when he noticed a rotten dead rat in the chili.
The sight was shocking, and he immediately upchucked the chili into the bowl. The old cowboy quietly said, “Yep, that’s as far as I got, too...”
Why were there only 3,000 Mexicans at the Battle of the Alamo?
'Cause they only had 4 trucks.
Chuck Norris is a genius for this: Walker Texas Ranger = Wrangler Karate Sex.
Chuck Norris came up with the name for Walker, Texas Ranger in sheer brilliance. You can arrange each letter for the name of the show to display the true name being "Wrangler Karate Sex!"
Why is Kanye West's haircut actually years of work by many doctors to piece together skull fragments like a jigsaw puzzle?
Because Kanye once interrupted Chuck Norris on the set of "Walker Texas Ranger."
Why is Texas the worst state ever?
They only have one star.
Hey, Patrick, what am I??
Uh, stupid?
No, I’m Texas!
What’s the difference??
😂😂😂😂
Texas is such a shitty state. There’s a reason it only has one star.
"What's the capital of Texas?" said the brown hair.
"T," said the blonde.
You call it a school shooting.
I call it an unfair shootout.
I just read an article that Texas is number one in the nation for both depression and infidelity in relationships.
It's a sad state of affairs.
I barged into a Halloween party at my school with my air-soft AR-15!
I was so scary, EVERYONE ran away!
God bless the shooting that happened.
"Texas be like it's cold over here over here."
Texas be like, "We vote to freeze ourselves!"