Technology

Technology Jokes

Candy

Why is it wrong to drive around in a van offering children candy?

Because you’ll have more success if you give out video games!

Butt

What do you get when you cross a butt with a phone?

A booty call.

Dark Humor

Sometimes I think back on all the people I’ve lost and remember why I stopped being a tour guide.

Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.

You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.

My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.

I’ll never forget my father’s last words to me just before he died: “Are you sure you fixed the brakes?”

Emo

I asked the emo kid if he was depressed that his phone died before him.

Rapper

Why don't rappers ever get lost?

Because they always have BARS on their GPS.

Microwave

What’s the difference between a gay guy and a microwave?

A microwave doesn’t brown your meat.

Rapper

Why don’t rappers ever get lost?

They always have a NAVIGATOR dropping the beat.

Rapper

What’s a rapper’s favorite computer key?

The space bar... it lets them space out their rhymes!

Porn

What’s the difference between how you watch porn and I watch porn?

The windows we watch through.

Mama

Yo mama is so fat, she doesn't need internet, she's already WORLDWIDE.

Guy

Did you hear about the deaf guy's STI?

He got hearing aids.

Rapper

Why don't rappers ever get LOST?

Because they always find their way with their GPS (Great Poetic Skills).

Steven Hawking

Steven Hawking had dark humor.

Whenever he turned on his laugh effect, it diverted power from his screen brightness.

Battery

Do you know why they call me battery saver?

I get turned on when it’s below 10%.