My dad told me a story today his mom my grandma said if a bird gets in ur house someone will die . That day a humming bird got in his U.P.S truck and that’s the day he found out that my grandma had cancer 😭😭😭😭😭 6 weeks later she died .😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
Billy moved in with 69 pedophiles when he was 8. Many "tears" came across his cheeks.
*Watches sad movie with family*
Everyone else: *Crying*
Sister: How aren't you crying?
Me: I have no tear left to cry...
So one day I was walking home from school with my best friend sally. She was worried to get home because she was going to tell her mom that bob the class rep got her pregnant a eight months ago and now it was obvious she was pregnant. So I said “sally it’ll be ok I’m sure she’ll be happy to get a grandson” “yeah thanks suzy” she said to me then went into her house. The next few weeks she didn’t show up to school so I was like oh she must be in trouble with her mom I’ll go check on her So I walk up to her house and her mom answers with a baby boy in her hands “oh hello. Is that Sally’s son!! Can I see sally?” Her mom says sure and I go inside but she leads me to the backyard and I see a tombstone “here lies sally 2004-2020” so I ask her mom in tears “oh did she not make it through the birth?” And her mom replied “you could say that..”
So yesterday, I was at an orphanage, harassing children by twerking at them,
They burst into tears.
I was worried that they would call their mom,
well.. um.. i got away
I was going to make a joke about a piece of paper
It's just to tear able
Why did potassium draw a tear that would consult in him crying?
Because all of his friends argon
I read the joke "what we breath is called oxygen,that is African food" to my African friend,but he is breathing in tears from his mother dying of hunger...
Have any of you guys heard the classic airplane jokes? here's a good example...
A farmer, a doctor, and a terrorist are on a plane. An engine fails, and they are going to crash, so the pilot asks everyone to throw out some items. The farmer threw out his apple harvest, the doctor threw out medical supplies, and the terrorist, (not needing a bomb apperently) through out his briefcase of bombs. They still crashed, and they started walking to the nearest town. They passed a boy who was running. "why are you running?" "My dad got hit by a shiny red object and now he's bleeding!" They three of them decide it's best to keep quiet, and continue. They then passed a crying girl, who said that her brother had been killed by a scalpel from heaven. They said nothing and continued. Finally, they see a boy laughing so much he is in tears. They ask him, "What's so funny?" "Grandma farted and the house blew up!"
Three nuns are on their way up to heaven after having been involved in a terrible minibus crash on the Italian Alps that killed them and the driver (he went the other direction!) As they're approaching the Pearly Gates to be interview by St. Peter, they are requested by an attendant to form a single line and wait. Sister Agnes is first, Sister Bernadette behind her and Sister Carmel on the end. Finally, St. Peter approaches the nuns to determine their worthiness for entry to Heaven. He says to the first nun : "Sister Agnes, have you ever seen the penis of a man"? Sister Agnes bursts into tears and says : Yes, St. Peter, I have, but please don't let this prevent me from entering the Kingdom of Heaven". St. Peter says : "Never fear, my child. Say a thousand Hail Marys and then go over to that font of Holy Water and wash your eyes out, then you shall enter the Kingdom of Heaven". Sister Carmel sees what's going on and taps Sister Bernadette on the shoulder, somewhat urgently. "Pssst - hey Bernie"!, she says. Sister Bernadette asks : "What is it?" A little annoyed. Sister Carmel says : "Do you mind if we swap places"? Sister Bernadette replies : "What for"? Sister Carmel says : "Well, I wouldn't mind gargling before you stick your ass in there"!
You know why I hate paper? It's TEAR-able to the enviorment
others, tearfully: stop shipping real people!! me, packing an old lady in a fedex box: nope!
I cry when U leave the room there tears of joy because U have an ugly hairline
what do you call onions and beans tear gas
tazzaro got me like : 😂 Face with Tears of Joy Emoji - Emojipediahttps://emojipedia.org › face-with-tears-of-joy A yellow face with a big grin, uplifted eyebrows, and smiling eyes, each shedding a tear from laughing so hard. Widely used to show something is funny or ...
Have you heard the joke about the paper? Never mind it’s tear-able
its smell like something die in my room, oh yeah its my dignity,hope, and my feeling. put in the corner of my room, they make a decent blanket to wipe my tears .
I told a crying kid to wipe his tears and come back smiling. He never came back the next day, says the local news.
A kid decided to burn his house down. His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm around the mom and said, "That's arson."
I stood in front of the mirror. "Joseph, I will love and protect you forever" my dick cooed. I looked down at it a single crystalline tear sliding down my face. I was at peace
