How did you get into the tampon 100?
Pull some strings!
A black lady goes inside the drug store and asks the pharmacist, "Do you carry tampons?" Then the pharmacist asks the black lady, "Do you want the mini pads or the maxi pads?"
And then the black lady asks the pharmacist, "What is the difference?"
And then the pharmacist asks the black lady, "What is your flow like?"
And then the black lady tells the pharmacist, "Linoleum."
How do you know when a woman is going to have a black baby?
When she takes the tampon out, all the cotton is picked.
This morning, I was having a conversation with my ex-boyfriend about reincarnation. I said to him, "If you could come back in the next life as anything, what would you come back as?" He thought about it for a minute and says, "A tree. That way, everybody can look at me and admire me."
Then he says the same thing to me. I started thinking about it when these two sexy, half-naked studs walked by. One was a jock, the other on his bicycle. I know I said I want to come back as a jockstrap or a bicycle seat, but knowing my luck, I'll come back as a tampon.
My neighbor has been mad at his wife for sunbathing nude. I personally am on the fence.
Bro, tampons look like sperms, and they go up your coochie.
I don’t see what the problem is.
The Supreme Court came up with a solution to the tampon shortage, yet all the liberals are pissed!
What do feminists and tampons have in common?
They're both stuck-up cunts.
You know why women wear tampons?
So the crabs could bungee jump!
What do lovely men and tampons have in common?
Both lick up the juices of the women they were made for.
Yo mama so big, she thought Christopher Rhoades was a tampon.
If a gay white male with blond hair is a prostitute, you will get $175.00 back for a blowjob if you give him $20.00. If you give a can of sauerkraut to a gay white male that is a prostitute with blonde hair and who is also Polish, you will get the money back that he paid for the can of sauerkraut if you wanted him to give you a blowjob. And if you wanted a blowjob from a gay white male that is a prostitute that is Canadian and Polish with blond hair, you will get the money back he paid for the bottle of maple syrup at the grocery store if you wanted him to give you a blowjob. But if you wanted to fuck him up the ass, he will give you the money back that he paid for the can of Crisco and he will also give you the money back that he paid for the box of condoms and he will give you the change back that he paid for the box of tampons that he paid for his baby sister or you could get a free anonymous blowjob at an adult book store.
Why do tampons have strings? So you can floss your teeth when you’re done eating.
Why don't midgets use tampons?
Answer: They are always tripping over the string.
Three vampires walk into a bar. The first one orders a Bloody Mary. The second orders a Bloody Mary. The bartender turns to the third and asks, “A Bloody Mary?”
The vampire shakes his head. “Hot water for me.”
“Hot water?”
“I found a tampon out back and want to make tea.”
My girlfriend told me the dishwasher was leaking, so I brought home some tampons.
Yo mama's so fat, she used a telephone pole as a tampon.
Why do female parachutists have to wear tampons before they jump?
So they don't whistle on the way down!
What did one tampon say to the other tampon?
Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches!
What do tampons and your sister have in common?
