Swimming jokes
What’s green and orange and sits at the bottom of the swimming pool?
A baby with burst armbands.
Q) What do you call Iron Man when he can't swim?
A) Robert Drowney Jr.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of kids.
Did you hear about the nurse who couldn’t swim?
She ended up under the doc[tor].
What’s yellow and can’t swim??
A school bus with elementary kids.
What did the tree wear to the pool party 🥳?
Swimming trunks.
What’s Mexico’s favorite sport?
Cross country.
Yo mama so fat, her swimming is Sea World.
What’s yellow and can’t swim?
A bus full of children.
Why did the cantaloupe 🍈 jump into the pool?
It wanted to become a watermelon 🍉.
What do chickens play in the pool? Marco Polo.
A fish was swimming around in a pond when he noticed a fly flying around about six inches above the water. He thought, "if that fly drops six inches, I could have myself a nice meal."
There was a bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, "if that fly drops six inches, that fish will come up for that fly, and I can catch that fish and have myself a nice meal."
There was a hunter watching the bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, "if that fly drops six inches, the fish will get the fly, the bear will go for the fish, and I can shoot the bear and have myself a nice meal."
There was a mouse watching the hunter watching the bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, "if that fly drops six inches, the fish will get the fly, the bear will get the fish, the hunter will shoot the bear, drop his sandwich and I can have myself a nice meal."
There was a cat in a tree watching the mouse watching the hunter watching the bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, "if that fly drops six inches, the fish will get the fly, the bear will get the fish, the hunter will shoot the bear, drop his sandwich, the mouse will go for the sandwich, and I can catch that mouse and have myself a nice meal."
Then it all happened.
The fly dropped six inches.
The fish came up and caught the fly.
The bear came out and caught the fish.
The hunter got up to shoot the bear and dropped his sandwich.
The mouse went for the sandwich.
The cat jumped from the tree, missed, and landed in the pond.
The lesson that can be learned here is that every time a fly drops six inches, a pussy gets wet.
What's the difference between a bus full of children and a fish?
The fish can swim.
What do you call a black person swimming?
Cursed Minecraft image.
yo mama so fat she went swimming with the whales and sang "weeeeeee areeeee fammmilllyyyyy!!!!!!!"
Papyrus: Nyhe heh heh! I got a swim suit! And it even says cool dude!
Sans: I guess now it says pool dude ;)
Papyrus: SSSSAAAAANNNNSSSS!
Jack and his kids went to the lake, and his mother wants him to go swimming. You know what he says? "Back where you came from!"
What's an African's favorite sport to play, but they can't? Water polo.
Why don’t Mexicans have an Olympic team? Because everyone who can run, jump, and swim are in the USA.
How do you know if an Asian has been in your house?
Your dog's gone.
Your finances are done.
And your floaties.