Swearing jokes
Dad: Are you gay?
Kid: Yes.
10 days later.
Kid: I’m going to my girlfriend's house.
Dad: I thought you were gay?
Kid: What’s wrong with you? He’s the girly girl of our relationship, dumba**.
Dad: Don’t swear and okay, bud.
I just wanted to say, Prince, that that "qwen" you were chatting with is totally fake! I haven't talked to you all day, I swear!
Prince, where are you? Please talk to me! I swear I love you!
"I swear I'm the real Gwen! I swear on my life!"
Why are chickens so funny? Because...
Just looking for a cunt...
Oh hello, found one.
My friend was getting bullied so I went over and asked him to stop. It went a little bit like this:
Me: Dude, leave her alone. Him: Beat it, b*tch. *lots of arguing and swearing* Me: Ya know! The smartest thing that ever came outta your mouth was probably a penis. Him: *walks away*
I have two things I wanna say:
1. When people swear, stop taking it so fucking literally. If someone calls you a bitch, they're not calling you a female dog. If they call you a cunt, they're not calling you a woman's private part, they are calling you either an idiot, scaredy cat/baby, or something along those lines, ffs.
2. wtf
All these females swear they loyal... but you can’t put loyalty on a hoe.
In response to a buddy saying they joined a golf club:
"Jfc, you’ve gone softer than your old man’s dick after your mom suggests a romantic night in! I swear to God you’re so fucking bougie."
(Pause)
"Oh, I forgot to tell you, while you were gone I got a weird call for you... Some Jeff guy? Said something about a loan..."
"Jeff who?"
"Bezos."
I swear your eyebrows have attachment issues, they're touching right now.
What did the swearing hen say?
"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK!" (It's cluck.)
What did the cussing rooster say?
"Cock-a-doodle-doo, phew!"
🌵funking prick!
I swear I witnessed your nana fall down the stairs.
L
Prince, don't listen to that Princess. She is a fake, I swear. I am the real Gwen.
Why did the duck walk across the road? I lost my pecker!
Personally, I think putting beans on toast is better than bullets in children.
The teacher was terrified to hear Little Johnny swear.
“I never want you to use language like that again. Where on earth did you pick it up?”
“From my father,” said Johnny.
“Well, he should be ashamed of himself. And it’s no reason for you to talk like that. You don’t even know what it means.”
“I do,” said Johnny. “It means the car won’t start.”
I swear every time I walk past a guy, they stare at my ass. I always keep wondering why it hurts so much.
Gwen, I am not gay. There is some stupid faker online! I swear on my life that I am not!
Btw, if I was gay, then why am I chatting and dating a girl?