Support jokes
What issues don't orphans have?
Daddy issues.
What can you say to make a rape victim feel better?
"It will be over soon."
Where did little Lucy go during the bombing?
Everywhere.
Friend (Evan): Did you do some dumb shit?
Me: Hell yeah.
Friend (Evan): Did you get us both in trouble?
Me: Hell yeah.
Friend (Evan): Will I still help you because you are my best friend?
Both: FUCK YEAH!
POV: Your grandma is on life support. I would unplug her life support to charge my third phone.
In some places in the world, you can't get an abortion even after rape. That's so fucked up.
You serve your time, you get out, and you STILL have to pay child support. What a nightmare.
There was a kid crying. I asked him where his parents were. He cried more. I love working at an orphanage.
One day a man buys a rope to commit suicide, but his friend stops him.
They go to a school with lots of happy kids. The guy feels better after a mag.
I, for one, give President Joe Biden my full support, and anything else he can find in my previously rented gym locker. 🤣
My friend can't afford to pay his water bill anymore, so I sent him a card, "Get well soon."
Why was Liverpool the worst bespoke? Rio supports it, hahah!
Why are orphans whores?
Because they want a sugar daddy. 🙃
Hi Alex, you will probably not see this till the morning, but I just wanted to say I have had fun since you were here. Also, thank you so much for protecting me and being there for me. And yeah, have a good day!
Two muffins are sitting in a bar.
The first muffin says to the bartender, "I'll have the usual."
The second one does not say anything to the bartender because muffins lack the vocal ability of humans, and even with the proper anatomy capable of speech access, they would most certainly be entirely unable to comprehend the human language. In fact, the first muffin would indefinitely not be able to provide speech to the bartender. The muffins also lack the muscular structure to be capable of support themselves to being suspended also preventing their access to movement. Even with the human-like structure, muffins lack brains, which are an essential part of being able to send nerve contact within the legs to be able to move. Also, with them lacking a brain structure entirely prevents them from speech. The anatomy simply prohibits the food items mentioned to be able to carry out any of the tasks required to get them to said bar and be able to speak, thus making the situation untruthful and completely idiotic.
How to get rid of your depression:
1. Stop self-pitying.
2. Realize you can't.
3. Fucking deal with it.
You're welcome.
Why was the stadium so cold?
Because of all its fans!
Nike isn't helpful for suicidal people. You can't tell them to "Just Do It."
What is better to have, autism, Down syndrome, or ADHD?
A teacher in Scunthorpe asks a class what their favorite football team is, saying, "Raise your hand if it is Scunthorpe." Every student but one raised their hand. The teacher asks, "Why don't you support Scunthorpe?" The child answers, "My parents support Grimsby, and so do I." The teacher comes back with, "Why are you copying your parents? What if your mum was a prostitute and your dad a druggie?" The child answers, "Then I'd support Scunthorpe like you dirty bastards!"
I'll unplug your life support for my phone that's about to die.