Substance Abuse jokes

What was the drug addict's favorite nursery rhyme?

I'm a little crack pot short and stout, put that crack pipe in my mouth, sell my body or sell my couch, get that lighter and smoke me out!

My son, who is into astronomy, asked me how stars die. I said, "Usually from an overdose."

What does Johnny Depp do when his kids are not home?

Cocaine.