Little Johnny was sitting in class, and he was behind a girl called Sally. The teacher asks the class, "Who created the Earth?" And Little Johnny pokes Sally in the back with his sharpened pencil, and she jumps and says, "MY GOD!" And the teacher says, "Yes, Sally, God did create the Earth." Sally sits down. Then, the teacher asks, "Where do you go after you live a good life?" and Little Johnny pokes Sally again, and she jumps up and says, "HEAVENS TO BETSY!" And the teacher says, "Yes Sally. You will go to heaven after you live a good life." Sally sits down, knowing full well Little Johnny was poking her. Sally gave Little Johnny an angry glare, and she turns around. And then, the teacher asks the class, "What did Eve say to Adam after their 77th child?" and Little Johnny pokes Sally HARDER this time in the back, and Sally jumps, turns around and says, "If you stick that thing in me one more time, I swear I'm gonna lose it!" And the teacher faints.
A man walks into a bar with an alligator and a stick. He walks up to the bartender and offers to put on a show for the bar's patrons in exchange for a drink. The bartender agrees, so he pulls down his pants, sticks his dick in the alligators mouth and starts whacking it with the stick. After he's done and gets his drink he asks if anyone else would like a go.
A lady gets up and says yes she would like a go, asks that he doesn't hit her with the stick.
ok this isnt a joke but its funny.
Roses are red, nuts are brown, Skirts go up, pants go down. Body to body, skin to skin, when its stiff, stick it in. It goes in dry, comes out wet, the longer it's in, the stronger it gets. It comes out dripping and starts to sag, its not what you think, its a lipton tea bag.
Get your mind out of the gutter.
I remember waving at this guy in the street, the asshole didn't wave back... Come to think of it he was also swing around a weird stick.
Jack and Jill went up the hill for drunkin' wild sex, Jack went by Jill to get a lick, and watched Jill get off on a stick
So a bear and a rabbit are in field, the bear turns to the rabbit and asks, "does your poop stick to your fur?" And the rabbit replied, "no" and the bear then picks up the rabbit and wipes his butt.
What kind of birds stick together?
Vel-crows
I got detention for giving an emo kid a glow stick... I tried to lighten his spirit
Found this girl in Hawaii Put a stick up her ass and she said Ayi
Whats brown and sticky? ....................
A stick. Get your head out of the gutters...Jeez.
ya i have a hydro flask h- My y- Grandpa d- Sticks r- His o- Cock f- Up l- My a- Ass s- k-
Q:Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet? A:To find Pooh!
Man Goes To The Doctor He Has A Banana sticking out of one ear , a carrot stinking out of the other ear and a green been stinking out of one nostrils. "Doctor, I'm not feeling well" the man complains. " Well, it's no wonder" The Doctor replies " You're not eating right"
I have good faith in the glue police. They usually stick to their word.
Two homeless alcoholics want to get drunk but don't have enough money for even the cheapest drinks in any bar. So one of them devises a clever plan: he tells his friend, "We should buy a hot-dog sausage with the last of our money and stick it down my pants, then drink a load of drinks. But then when the bill comes, you get down and suck on the hot-dog, and it'll look like you're sucking on my dick. So then we'll get thrown out without paying, and we can just go to another bar and do the same thing again."
His friend agrees, so they buy the hot-dog, stick it down the first dude's pants, go to the bar, and then the second dude begins to suck on the hot-dog as agreed. They are thrown out and hit another four bars this way. In the end, as they lie drunk on the floor in some alleyway, the second guy says, "Well, what a great night. Free beers in five different bars!" The first guy says, "Yeah! Especially since the hot-dog fell out before we even reached the first bar!"
My teacher asked what was the worst time you got paddled by your parents my one friend said that he got in trouble and got whacked by a stick i raised my hand and said that my dad whacked me with his dick
Once my girlfriend asked me to give her lipstick and I accidentally gave her the glue stick. She won't talk to me any more.
What’s long, white, and full of cream? A cheese stick
You were supposed to be born in the tree. The sticks were your siblings.
I tried to stick to one direction but then they started to shoot the gay bar....
