Why do midgets laugh when they run?
Because the grass tickles their balls.
Why do dwarfs laugh when they run?
The grass tickles their balls.
What do you call an Asian receptionist?
Tai Ping.
Why are feminists always against men?
Because men can piss with something that they can't: piss with dicks.
Why are feminists jealous of men?
Because men don't have to stand up to piss.
The happier they get, the less they see.
Why did the orphan become a prostitute? They wanted someone to call "daddy."
What does it mean when a man has a dodgy past? It means he has skeletons in his closet.
What does it mean when a man likes Lana Del Rey better than Ed Sheeran? It means he has a closet full of women's leather pants (but no women in their dating history).
A man walks into a bar. He takes a seat and asks the barman if he wanted to hear a blonde joke. The barman replies, "Before you tell this joke, I want to tell you something. See the woman over there? She is a black belt in karate, she's blonde. See the bouncer over there? He is also a blonde. See the chick over there with that pool cue? She is also blonde. Also, I have a shotgun behind the bar. I'm blonde. So do you still want to tell your joke?" He replies, "F**k that. I ain't explaining the joke 4 times."
Do gay midgets come out of the cabinet?
Why can a gay man give a better brojob to a heterosexual man than another heterosexual man?
Experience.
In Soviet Russia, gay sex gets you arrested.
In America, getting arrested gets you gay sex.
If a woman sleeps with 10 men she's a slut, but if a man does it... He's gay, definitely gay.
The sexual shout "Yes Daddy" probably originated in Alabama.
What kind of experience does a feminist have?
Being a bitch.
What's the difference between your girlfriend and sister? Nothing if you're from Alabama.
The gayest person in the world is Pacman. You can pay him 50 cents to eat 200 balls.
My friends: Ugh, why are you so lazy and no fun?
My parents: Why can't you be like your siblings?
My teacher: I don't care if you're depressed, focus on your study!
The songs: We understand you :)
What is the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? One less drunk.
Why can't two Chinese people have a white baby? Because "two wongs don't make a white."
