Car wash jokes

I'm actually against abortion.

Just go to the car wash and tell 'em you ate too much red pasta!

How does Stephen Hawking get clean?

He uses Tesco car wash.

What's the difference between when I opened the window in a car wash and when Kawhi Leonard did it? At least my dad didn't get shot in the eye.

So, some thieves robbed me the other day. They took everything I owned, except for the soap, towels, and deodorant.

Dirty bastards.

How did they figure out what kind of shampoo Paul Walker used? They found his “head and shoulders” in the dash.

What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? You slap her on the ass and tell her to get back to work.

I started beating my washing machine because it wasn't working, my wife started crying.

Lil Timmy and Lil Susie are taking a bath together. Lil Susie looks down and says, "Hey, what's that?" Lil Timmy looks down and says, "Oh, that, that's only my little red race car." They continue on with their bath.

Then Lil Timmy looks down and says, "Hey, what's that?" Lil Susie looks down and says, "Oh, that, that's only my little red race car garage." They continue with their bath. Then Lil Susie says, "Hey, what if we try to put your little red race car in my little red race car garage?"

The parents downstairs then hear a bloody scream. They rush upstairs and then say, "What's wrong?" Lil Susie says, "Well, Lil Timmy tried to put his little red race car in my little red race car garage but the back wheels wouldn't fit, so we cut them off."