How to improve my beloved Penchester United in 5 easy steps:
1. Sell Casemeiro π€ 2. Sell Pernandes π€ 3. Sell Bencho π€ 4. Sell Trashford π€ 5. Terminate penaldo π€ 6. Make Mctominay extend his deal π
These came down deep from my heart. Donβt let me down again, please.
Why do sisters hate you?
Because you're their favorite stepbrother :P
What's the difference between a nuclear reactor and your step sis? You need to use protection for the nuclear reactor.
What happens to grapes when you step on them? They wine.
I just stepped on a corn flake. I'm officially a cereal killer.
What did the grape say when the Meerkat stepped on it?
It said nothing, just let out a little wine.
I hate stairs, they're always up to something.
I respect anyone who devotes their life to charity work.
But I think Paul Walker went a step too far.
Joe mama so fat when she went to the movies, she sat next to everybody.
Joe mama so fat when she stepped on the scale, it said, "One at a time, please."
Joe mama so fat when she stepped on the scale, it said, "To be continued."
Two simple steps to get 15,000 people to follow you:
Step 1: Buy a bottle of water (doesn't matter the size).
Step 2: Run through Africa with that bottle of water.
Perfect! Now you got yourself half the population there following you!
When you step on the weighing scale, it shows your phone number!
Q: How did Helen Keller get a concussion?
A: She kept stepping on a rake.
At school, this gurl was like, "You're ugly!" And I'm like, "Gurl, your mirror cracks the moment you step in front of it."
I stepped on a cornflake. They accused me of being a serial killer.
One day a couple was walking when the man stepped on something hard and squishy, then they heard a sound from the bushes. Instead of looking down, they both ran.
Two years later, they turned on the TV to find Ted Bundy on trial. They asked him if he has ever been caught. He said, "No, but a couple was walking as soon as I killed a girl. I jumped into a bush. They didn't know I was there, but the man stepped on the dead body but didn't look down, then he and his girlfriend ran."
Step on your small sister's foot, she will always open her mouth like a dustbin.
Me and my friends are going to create a Steps tribute band. We are all in wheelchairs, so we are going to be called "Ramps."
When a fat person steps on a scale, it says: βTo be continued.β
What did the orphan say to his stepmom?
"I need help."
When I say, "Daddy," my stepbrother raises his head.
