Steal jokes
How do you make antifreeze?
You steal her blanket.
Who do you call someone that steals his brother's girlfriend and [is] disowned by his whole family? Brandon.
Why does Sally hate herself? Because Sophie stole her boy.
Why did the baseball player get arrested? He tried to steal third.
Why do people not play Uno with Mexicans? Because they are always stealing the green cards.
Greg fucking steals toes!
What's the difference between an amateur thief and a professional thief?
The amateur thief says, "Give me all your money!" The professional thief says, "Sign here please."
Why was the DJ banned from the supermarket?
He was stealing all the samples.
To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office: I will find you... You have my Word.