The 15+ Best Declaration Jokes

Why wasn't Michael Jackson admitted to college? He refused to declare a major; he only wanted to do minors.

Signs my cousin is going places when he's older: TEST QUESTION: where was the declaration of independence signed? He wrote: at the bottom of the page. Smart kid

How did Donald Trump win Alabama twice?

By declaring that he has a crush on his daughter!

How many Microsoft programmers does it take to change a light bulb? - None, they declare darkness to be the new standard.

When the school shooter kills the teacher and the autistic kid declares communism

Funny Test Answers #6

Pro Fest-Answer these questions as accurately as possible.
1. in which battle did Napoleon Die? His last one
2. Where was the Declaration of Independence Signed?
on the bottom of the page.
3. River Ravi, flows is which state?
Liquid State
4. What is the main reason for Divorce?
MARRIAGE
S. What is the main reason for Exams?
FAILURE
6. What can you never eat for Breakfast?
Lunch & Dinner
7. What looks like half an apple?
The other HALF
8. If you threw a red stone into the Blue Sea, what will it become?
Simply, Awet stone
9. How can a Man go 8 days without sleeping?
EASY, sleep at night.
A+ for Creativity
Mis Ta
Jun
10. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
you can never lift on elephant that has I HAND
11.If you had 3 apples and 4 oranges in one hand and 3 oranges and 4 apples
in the other hand, what would you have?
VERY Large HANDS
12.if it took, eight men 10 hours to build a brick wall, how long would it take
four men to build it?
No time at all, the wall was
already built
13. How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?
Any way you
very
want, because a concrete floor
hard to crack.

9/10/01

Bush: “Ok i e got this just act surprised and pretend to be sad and declare war on Afghanistan”

What does Donald Trump says when he declares war? Nuke them. What does a pervert says when he declares war? Nude them.

Why did Zayn Malik get his girlfriend to convert to Islam? So she can declare giGIHADid

I DECLARE WAR ON GWEN 📍🖌✒️🖋✏️🔏📝🔓

One day, inexplicably, my talking parrot started insulting me. He called me an idiot, a fool, a jerk, stupid, and a variety of other nasty names. I warned the squawker to cease, but to no avian avail. Fed up, I finally flipped the foul-mouthed feather-brain into the freezer...but after about 15 seconds, I relented and let him out. "I'm so sorry," he declared! "I don't know what came over me, and realize I shouldn't have said those terrible things. I hope you can forgive me, and I promise never to do it again! By the way...what did the chicken do?" 🐔😂

The ham is in fact processed

"Is that ham processed? If it's
processed, I don't want it."
Ma'am, that is an eleven pound whole slab
of deli ham. It has no bones, fat, or
connective tissue. It is an amalgamation
of the meat of several pigs, emulsified,
liquefied, strained, and ultimately
inexorably joined in an unholy meat
obelisk. God had no hand in the creation
of this abhorrence. The fact that this
ham monolith exists proves that God is
either impotent to alter His universe or
ignorant to the horrors taking place in
His kingdom. This prism of pork is more
than deli meat. It is a physical
declaration of mankind's contempt for the
natural order. It is hubris manifest.
We also have a lower sodium variety if you
would prefer that.
bu

What's up guys! Quandale Dingle here (RUUEHEHEHEHEHEEHE) I have been arrested for multiple crimes (AHHHHHHHHHHHHH) including: Battery on a police officer (WHAT), Grand theft, Declaring war on Italy, and public indecency (RUHEHEHEEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE x2 speed). I will be escaping prison on, MARCH 28TH! After that I will take over the worl