State jokes
Me: Wanna hear a joke?
Person: Sure.
Me: Never mind, I was gonna say my life, but my life isn't a joke! Jokes have meaning.
Person: Dear God...
I was on a flight to California, but my next in the Empire State Building.
Canada United States Mexico
C U M
I could be red, I could be orange, I could be yellow, I could be green, I could be blue, I could be purple, but I would be dead.
Russia—the real joke.
A straight man and a gay man are talking. The straight man says, "I'm wanted in 2 states for murder." and the gay man replies with, "Oh, that sucks. I'm wanted in 13 for existing."
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they all sit in the dark and cry.
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.
You’re not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.
One day I visited my friend in a hospital.
I remember when I spoke, "You know, sometimes it's reaching its peak and its lowest state, but I know you'll always end like the others at calming and straight!"
Yes, I talked about the heart monitor beside him.
Texas be like, "We vote to freeze ourselves!"
What do you call California during a forest fire?
Completely normal.
I was about to joke about your life, but I think your life is already a joke.
Family feud after finding out about Alabama.
Jack and Jill went up a hill. His condom ripped, and now they are from Alabama.
I went to my girlfriend's house one day in Alabama when I met her brother. He said, "Well, I guess there's no more you stuck in the dryer."
Why did the old man win in a fight? Because he was stressed.
Why in Alabama people don't use doggy style... Cuz you don't turn your back to your family.
Why can't dwarfs be depressed?
Because they are compressed.
There are two types of people in Alabama: the orphans and the incests.
Why do orphans want to be communist?
So they would have a motherland.
What do you call the United States of America under a Joe Biden presidency?
Answer: The Democratic People’s Socialist States of America. We're still America, just a different kind of America. And that’s no joke. 😔