Stand up

Stand up jokes

Suicide

  • My friend was on a wheelchair... he committed suicide yesterday. I remember when I met him last time, he told us a good joke and I appreciated him and told him to become a stand-up comedian.

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  • Bullying

  • Gwen just wanted to help you with the bullying.

    Tip 1. Ignore them; bullies are really just cowards.

    Tip 2. Stand up for yourself; it's ok for people to also help you, but you do the same for yourself!

    Tip 3. Just let them be; they're just stupid!

    Love you-Iariah

    Orphan

  • This is our motto- "Never fear orphans! You are even more special than diamonds."

    Orphan club for ppl who stand up for orphans!

    Man

  • A disabled man stands up.

    A blind man says, "You can stand?"

    A deaf man says, "You can see?"

    A mute person says, "You can hear?"

    The disabled man says, "You can talk!"

    Doctor: "What the actual f**k"

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  • Stand-up comedy

  • Once I was in South Korea doing stand up comedy... and I started with a "hidden" joke and I said: "I'm so happy to be here in one of the most beautiful Korea's in the world..." which is a good joke but they didn't get it, and they looked at me badly... so I said "I'm here in the South which is more beautiful... South good, North booooooo." But still nothing, they kept glaring at me... then I realized that maybe I was in the wrong Korea.

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  • Girlfriend

  • My girlfriend dumped me today. Apparently, I don't stand up for her in fights. I don't care. She used to push me around all the time.

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  • Mall

  • So I went to a mall and I was finna buy something... and I saw a little boy and he said "hello," so then I passed by him and he said "hi," and I was like "hi nigga," and he said, "um, just wondering something... I mean I like jokes, but what is dark humor?" And I was like "umm🤔.. it's like 🤔🤔...like you see that guy without legs? Tell him to stand up"... and he said "I'm blind nigga" and I said "exactly homie"... aight nigga peace and look out😏😉

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