What's the similarity between women and car parking spaces? The good ones are always taken, and sometimes when nobody's looking, you slip in the disabled one.
What did Captain Picard say when he brought his sewing machine to the repairman? -- "Make it sew."
Where did Milky Way get it's degree? -- At the university.
What did Earth say to the other planets? -- "You guys have no life!"
How does NASA organize a party? -- They planet.
How many ears does Captain Picard have? -- Three: A left ear, a right ear and a final front ear.
What do prime numbers and stoners have in common? The higher they are, the more spaced out they get.
I believe a lot of conflict in the Wild West could have been avoided completely if cowboy architects had just made their towns big enough for everyone...
Yo mama so fat, she curves space and time.