SOS jokes

I was in the mood for some dark meat, so I called my black friend.

Why do Emos love Christmas? So they can pretend they're ornaments and hang themselves on trees. Hope you liked it, happy holidays!

Your mom is so fat that she can't get internet because she is worldwide.

I hate jokes about 9/11... every joke has the tendency to crash and burn.

"I didn't get the joke at first, but then it hit me like a plane," the joke was so dark a cop almost shot it.

My dad is so good at instruments, he said he loves to finger "a minor."

You're so fat the only letters of the alphabet you know are K, F, and C.

Your teeth are so spread out my mom can drive her car through the gap in your teeth.

My therapist once said, "time heals all wounds." So I stabbed him. Now we wait...

Ariana Grande had 7 husbands, so she had 7 rings.

Why do we tell actors to break a leg?

So they can get in the cast!

Why was the T-rex so angry? You would be angry too if your arms were too short to masturbate.

Your mom is so slow, it took her 9 months to make a joke.

Yo mama so ugly, Itachi couldn't look at her to put her in a genjutsu.

Your mom is so fat that when she fell on the sidewalk, nobody laughed, but the sidewalk cracked up.

Yo mama's so dumb, when a robber stole her TV, she said, "You forgot the remote!"

Help, my ADHD is so bad that not even I can focus in a concentration camp.

I hate prom in Alabama. They always say, "Uhh, actually this is our family reunion." We are in Alabama, so they are the same thing.

Yo mama so fat, she don't need the internet because she is already worldwide.

They should bring Michael Jackson back from the dead so he can star in the Peter Pan horror movie.

Why are there so many scars and cuts on your arm?

Because it's a battlefield.