SOS jokes
I got fired from my job today at a banana factory. They said to throw away the bad ones, so I threw away the bent ones.
Your hairline is so bad even your gay friend is straighter than it.
My doctor said I only have 1 year to live, so I killed him. Got sentenced to life in prison, problem solved!
When the school shooter breaks into your classroom, so you try to say goodbye to your Roblox gf, but then the shooter's phone goes off.
What did one shoe say to the other shoe when they were fighting?
I wanna sock you in the eye so bad!
Memes
What's so special about bullets?
They do work after they are fired.
So, you're into pronouns? Let me she/them titties.
My mom thinks I need to stop objectifying women. I think she is overreacting.
She asked why I broke up with the last girl, and I said,
"It didn't work out."
She told me to be more specific, so I said,
"I just told you, she didn't exercise."
They should bring Michael Jackson back from the dead so he can star in the Peter Pan horror movie.
I hate prom in Alabama. They always say, "Uhh, actually this is our family reunion." We are in Alabama, so they are the same thing.
Why are there so many scars and cuts on your arm?
Because it's a battlefield.
Help, my ADHD is so bad that not even I can focus in a concentration camp.
Yo mama so fat, she don't need the internet because she is already worldwide.
I'm so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed.
yo mama so fat, when she stepped on the scale it told her "I wanted your weight not your phone number."
Why was the T-rex so angry? You would be angry too if your arms were too short to masturbate.
Yo hairline is so crooked it makes your gay best friend look straight.
Your hairline is so far back that your dad still can't find his way back home.
You're so fat the only letters of the alphabet you know are K, F, and C.
A: Why are you so sad?
B: I was watching porn, and all of a sudden my wife opened the door.
A: Ok, I see, but is that really such a big deal?
B: I mean, she opened the door in the movie.