SOS jokes

Jack took Jill up a hill to have a picnic, but Jack and Jill got drunk. They then Jill unzipped Jack's fly, then said, "You know you want me to."

He said yes, so she took off her dress and bra. Jack took his pants and shirt off too. They both went in the well together and played a game: Jack's candy stick in Jill's candy stick. Next, Jill was sucking Jack's candy stick while Jack licked and sucked her candy stick, then Jill sat on Jack's candy stick while making out.

The exam is knocking at my door... so I ran away from the window.

I saw a cyclist in the road today, so I ran over him and he said in a robotic voice, "SHUTTING DOWN!"

I put my fish on a leash so I could teach him to walk. Then I took him out for a walk. Then, when I put him back in the tank, he stopped moving.

Why were Adam and Eve's sons so much alike? Because Cain was Abel minded!

Yo mama so fat, it took the Flash 40 years to run around her.

Sailors are coming onto the boardwalk and are met by Colonel Sanders. He asks them, "What is your occupation?" They respond, "We are seamen." So he says, "Well, you better wash up 'cause I'm finger lickin' good!"

Your hair goes so far back in time, even cavemen saw it!

Yo mama so old her Bible was autographed by Jesus.

Your hairline goes so far back that the History Channel made a show about it.

Yo, your hairline so messed up God said your hairline on the cross getting hit on that cross.

Your mom's so small that she hang glided on a Dorito!

Your mom is so fat, she starts the alphabet with the letter "o" for obesity, hahaha!

That is so bad, just like you.

Yo mama so gay that she made left and right turn straight.

Why was the ant so smart? Because it always knew the answer.

Yo mama so lazy that she didn’t give birth to you until you were 15.

Your mum is so fat she eats all day!

Your mama so chubby, people call her fat.

Yo mama was so fat, the Earth was flat before they put your mama in a grave.