SOS jokes
A cop pulls me over and asks if I have been drinking.
I'm an honest person and say yes, I did, so I take off my sunglasses and tell him that I now had 2 glasses less.
So many things are going through my head.
How am I not dead yet?
The orphan's best friend wanted to meet his family, so he took a selfie.
I try and try every day, but 5 keep coming out. There's so money at this point my walls are built of babies.
I got fired from my job at the bank today.
An old lady came in and asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
Memes
Your hairline is so ugly, it's stretching down to Bikini Bottom.
What did the priest say during the christening?
"So anyway, I started blasting!"
I saw a kid crying, so I asked him where his parents were, and he started crying more.
Anyway, working at an orphanage is fun.
My favorite animal is a cheetah, so I hope the jokes are good.
Ur mom was so fat that even Jon Brower Minnoch was ten times less fat.
Yo mama so fat she needs to sit on 2 chairs.
Yo mama so fat, she takes up the whole bed.
Yo mama so fat when she stepped on a scale, it said... "Error!"
I bought a sweater and it started building up static electricity.
So I got another one free of charge.
Yo hairline go back so far you could drive 1,000,000 miles and still not find it.
Yo mama so ugly, her mirror broke.
Yo mama so fat when she walked all we knew was EARTHQUAKE!
Yo mama so fat, when she was wearing black by a bank which was getting robbed, they thought, "AHH SWAT!"
Yo mama so fat when she walks the earth talks!
LMAO
Yo mama so fat, when she farts, it's counted as a new gas element.