SOS jokes
"Can you tie a knot?"
"I cannot."
"So you can knot?"
"No, I cannot knot."
"Not knot?"
"Who's there?"
"F... off!"
Roses are red, violets are blue, I have a joke, so are you.
I was playing chess with my friend and he said, “Let’s make this interesting.” So I took away his towers, and he took away my queen.
Yo mama so dumb, she put a watch in a piggybank and said she was saving time.
Yo mama is so stupid, she thought keeping you was a good idea!
Memes
Roses are red, violets are blue, You're so flat we can play chess on your chest!
I went to a restaurant and a waiter took my order. She had two black eyes, so I ordered real slow.
Because obviously she doesn’t listen.
Yo mama so fat that she would die before reaching the gates of heaven.
Your hairline's so ugly, it turned Medusa to stone!
When I was recently standing in front of a huge puddle with my buddy, I remembered how he tricked me a week ago. So I tricked him...
You are recently injured because of your job as a driving instructor, so you couldn't go on vacation with your friends.
Your friends tell you that they have an Asian pilot.
You realize, "They have a -1% survival rate!"
Yo mama so fat, the only letters that she knows are KFC.
Pilot: So Kobe, it seems like you’re not going to make it to your destination in time, so I’m going to put it on autopilot so I can find a place to fill with gas.
Kobe: Take us to the side of that mountain at full speed. I don’t really want to go to the event anymore.
Your cut [is] so broke, even Bob the Builder can't fix it.
Roses are red, Violets are fine. Why is your life So much better than mine?
My wife wanted something that went from 0 to 80 very quickly.
So I brought her a new bathroom scale.
Yo mama so fat, she the reason why Moses split the Red Sea.
Yo mama so fat that State Farm tried to get on her side but couldn’t.
Yo mama so fat, she needs 17 iPhones to take a selfie.
You know, you should adopt a pet. So then you can feel the pain that your parents felt when they adopted you... wait... also the regret after.