SOS jokes

But she hasn't tried the position with her new boyfriend, so she invites him to a romantic dinner.

After dinner, she tells her boyfriend about her desire for it, but her boyfriend was clueless about such acts, so she tells him to strip naked on the couch and lay on top of him naked in the 69 position. She starts sucking him off and starts waiting for him to do the same, but the bf didn't know what to do, so he just lay there. Suddenly, the girl had an urge to fart but held it in because her asshole was right near his bf's face. Suddenly, she loses control and lets one out. She apologizes profusely and continues sucking him. A couple of minutes later, she feels the urge again and lets another fart rip near his face. The BF throws the girl from the couch, gets up, and says, "Bitch if you think I'll be lying here for 67 more of those, you're fucking crazy."

A pedo is driving down a highway really slowly and gets stopped by the police. The officer asks why he was driving so slowly. The man answers, "I don't wake up the kids."

So my friend and I went camping at a Cold Lake Campground and he jumped into it without any warning, and so I asked him, "Wat-er you doing?"

Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could suck Jill’s candy.

Jack got a shock because Jill’s real name was Randy.

My aunt’s star sign is Cancer, so it’s pretty ironic how she died. She was eaten alive by a giant freaking crab!

Man, cancer is so easy to beat. I'm already on stage 4.

She said no, so I raped her.

If at first you don't succeed, oh well, so much for skydiving.

Yo mama so ugly, when she looks in a mirror, it says, "Viewer discretion advised!"

Bro, yo mama so fat Thanos had to clap her out of existence.

Mama is so Catholic, Swiss cheese wishes it was as holy as she is. Do you...

Why is America so bad at playing Jenga?

Because they already lost two towers.

Yo mama so ugly, Bloody Mary handed her an application through the mirror.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You are so ugly, Do not tell me that is really you.

So you know there's like dog mixes, right? Like a Snoodle and that stuff, right? So why can't a bulldog and a shih tzu be mixed? 'Cause if they did, it would be called bullshit.

Alya is so retarded.

The view is so much better without those twins covering the city.

Well, that was a blow up!

I saw some kid following me, so I told him to go back to his family.

Orphan: "What family?"

Why did the emo kid try [to] high five the tree?

So it can hang him.

Why is Lucas so weird? I don't know, you tell me.