SOS Jokes

Your forehead is so big, I thought you were Megamind for a second there.

But she hasn't tried the position with her new boyfriend, so she invites him to a romantic dinner.

After dinner, she tells her boyfriend about her desire for it, but her boyfriend was clueless about such acts, so she tells him to strip naked on the couch and lay on top of him naked in the 69 position. She starts sucking him off and starts waiting for him to do the same, but the bf didn't know what to do, so he just lay there. Suddenly, the girl had an urge to fart but held it in because her asshole was right near his bf's face. Suddenly, she loses control and lets one out. She apologizes profusely and continues sucking him. A couple of minutes later, she feels the urge again and lets another fart rip near his face. The BF throws the girl from the couch, gets up, and says, "Bitch if you think I'll be lying here for 67 more of those, you're fucking crazy."

Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could suck Jill’s candy.

Jack got a shock because Jill’s real name was Randy.

My aunt’s star sign is Cancer, so it’s pretty ironic how she died. She was eaten alive by a giant freaking crab!

Man, cancer is so easy to beat. I'm already on stage 4.

Like mf how tf am I supposed to talk when my mouth is wide tf open

The image shows a scene from Spongebob Squarepants. Patrick Star is holding Spongebob's mouth open, while Spongebob looks distressed. The text on top of the image reads "Nobody: The dentist: So how's life going".

So my friend and I went camping at a Cold Lake Campground and he jumped into it without any warning, and so I asked him, "Wat-er you doing?"

She said no, so I raped her.

Bro, yo mama so fat Thanos had to clap her out of existence.

You're so skinny, your mom actually enjoyed your birth!

Why is America so bad at playing Jenga?

Because they already lost two towers.

So, my mom looked in the mirror today, and we need a new one.

So you know there's like dog mixes, right? Like a Snoodle and that stuff, right? So why can't a bulldog and a shih tzu be mixed? 'Cause if they did, it would be called bullshit.

Alya is so retarded.

I saw a kid wearing tatty rags on a curb, so I asked, "Are you an orphan?"

"Yes," he replied. "What gave me away?" He asked, "Your parents," I said.

Your forehead is so big, Megamind thought he was your long lost sibling.

My wife and I’s gay marriage counselor advised us to watch porn together. So, we decided to try it out one day and search up lesbian shemale porn.

And that’s the day she found out she was a porn star.

Why does an orphan go to a spelling bee?

So they can spell "home."

Abortion is becoming more and more expensive these days. So visit Ammu-nation and pick up an Armsan RS-X1 tactical shotgun. It comes with a free box of ammo and a three year warranty. Buy now, pay later.