SOS jokes

I lit a retirement home on fire so that all the seniors can be cremated for free.

Yo mama so fat,

she fell off BOTH sides of the bed!

Yo mama so ugly,

they won’t give her a vaccine so she can keep wearing her mask.

You’re so fat that when you sit on the toilet, it says, “A B C D E F G, get your butt off of me!”

Your hairline is so far back that even Hitler wouldn't shoot it.

Why do orphans like to go to church?

So they have someone to call father.

If you're bored, punch an orphan in the face. What is he gonna do, tell his parents?

Yo Mama is so stupid, she thought the football team Rams were actually the animal rams.

So this dude comes home from work one day, and his wife is watching the Food Network.

The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still can't cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still can't f*ck."

Yo mama so fat, she could fly a hot air balloon by letting out her gas.

Yo mama so stupid, she thought a quarterback was a refund.

Your hairline [is] so bad it went down like the Twin Towers.

Violets are red, so is your face. I thought I was ugly, but then I saw you.

I'm so jealous of babies with anencephaly.

They can eat all the ice cream they want and never get brain freezes.

Yo mama is so fat, she falls off both sides of the bed.

Your mama is so fat, the photo I took of her last Christmas is still printing.

Why should you always wear rubber?

So you don’t leave DNA evidence.

Yo mama so fat the scale said, "I need your weight, not your phone number."

Why are Palestinian boys so eager to grow a beard?

So they can use their mum's ID to get in the club.

Why do you put a baby into a blender feet first?

So you can see the look on its face...

Shrek once went to the movies and when he sat down he felt this slimy and sticky feeling on the chair, so he stood up and complained about his chair being dirty... until he realized that he forgot to wipe earlier... so he stopped complaining and went back to his chair and sat back down.