Can we have sex, because if we don't, I can't like you, big, thick booty!
So let's have sex in bed, you sexy woman, or behind a tree, because shoving my dick in your pussy is a very nice feeling while sucking your ass.
SOS Jokes
Yo mama so stupid, she thought a quarterback was a refund.
Why do you put a baby into a blender feet first?
So you can see the look on its face...
People wonder why our generation grew up so sarcastic.
"Hey, how do I look?"
"With your eyes, Joe."
What did one skeleton say to the other?
Skeleton 1: "I need a hand!"
Skeleton 2: (Throws up hand)
Skeleton 1: "That wasn't very humerus."
Skeleton 2: "Why do you have to be so heartless?"
Skeleton 1: "At least I had the guts to tell you!"
Yo mama so stupid, when she was in court and the judge said, "Order, order," she said, "Pizza."
My kids told me to have a good day, so I left them to their own devices and hoped for the best.
Yo Mama is so stupid, she thought the football team Rams were actually the animal rams.
So this dude comes home from work one day, and his wife is watching the Food Network.
The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still can't cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still can't f*ck."
Yo mama so fat, she could fly a hot air balloon by letting out her gas.
You're so wonderful that Wonderland booked tickets to meet you!
Your smile is so nice that the moon shines off them.
Yo mama so ugly, she's only allowed to go out on October 31.
Why shouldn’t you call people in China?
Because there are so many Wings and Wongs you might "wing" the wrong number.
My wife is mad that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and went right.
Why are Germans so good at cleaning?
They have experience in ethnic cleansing.
Yo mama is so fat, she falls off both sides of the bed.
Shrek once went to the movies and when he sat down he felt this slimy and sticky feeling on the chair, so he stood up and complained about his chair being dirty... until he realized that he forgot to wipe earlier... so he stopped complaining and went back to his chair and sat back down.
Tell someone that you're gonna say “I 1 poopoo” and it will go in order of numbers, so they say, “I 2 poopoo” & so on:
You) I 1 poopoo
(Them) I 2 poopoo
(You) I 3 poopoo
(Them) I 4 poopoo
(You) I 5 poopoo
(Them) I 6 poopoo
(You) I 7 poopoo
(Them) I 8 poopoo
And be like, “You ate poopoo??! EWW!!”
People always often say to someone who are thinking about suicide that's the easy way out. Don't give up! All I say is I'm not giving up, just I'm giving in, and does it really seem like it's the easiest way out? I don't think so, it's probably the hardest if you ask me, or I would have done it already, but someone's got to do it.
