I see a kid crying in the park, right? So I go up to him and say, "Hey, where are your parents?" and he says, "Well, my dad left to get the milk and never came back, and my mother died in a plane crash in the Bermuda Triangle."
SOS Jokes
Teacher: Where is your slip so I can see you can come on this trip?
Orphan: Parent signature: ___________
A turtle was walking down the street when all of a sudden a snail came up to him and robbed him.
When the policemen showed up and asked him what happened, he responded, "I don't know, it all happened so fast!"
Yo mama so clueless, she dialed 911 on the microwave.
Why is Beast Boy so good at flying?
Terra hasn't forgiven him.
Your forehead is so big you could have put an H for Kobe to land on.
Your mama is so ugly even Dora can't explore her.
Yo mama's so heavy and fat, gravity could not hold her down.
Did you hear the one about the deaf person?
Me: No.
That's because they can't hear, so they don't talk.
My mom said she wanted to be a comedian when she grows up. So after she was an adult, she had kids. When they were old enough, she told them you could be whatever you want...
Yo mama so fat that she needs 12 queen size mattresses to go to sleep.
Your mom is so fat that she works as a hydraulic press in a car factory!
You’re so ugly, I can see why your dad left now.
Your mum so fat that when she sat down she said, "Why are there so many people under me?"
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Lay on the bed, So I can fuck you.
Today I went to the doctor for a test, and he said I have 10 months to live.
So later that day I stabbed him to death, and the judge sentenced me for 15 years in prison. Problem solved!
Why did the stoner cross the road?
He got so wasted, he thought he was a chicken.
Yo mamma so ugly that even God said, "Be gone, DEMON!"
So I thought about trying to eat a clock one day.
After about 13 tries, I realized this was very time consuming.
Why is Santa’s sack so big?
Because he only comes once a year.
