SOS jokes

My wife accused me of being immature, so I kicked her out of my "boys fort."

Yo mama is so strict that Thanos couldn't collect the Infinity Stones until he had done his homework.

You know how sometimes you want to listen to music?

But everything you listen to is just supremely unsatisfying, even if it's songs you usually love; they are just so unappealing, and you have no idea what you actually want to listen to.

I asked an orphan where his mom was. He started crying, so I said it again.

And well, that was my last day at the orphanage.

Your forehead is so clear, like the Liberty Bell manual in 1876.

Yo mama's so dumb, she thought Bruno Mars was a planet!

So, I saw two homeless people on the road fighting. I said, "Stop fighting and go home." I guess it was a little insensitive.

My friend was in a wheelchair, so I rolled him in fire. Now I call him Hot Wheels.

A prisoner dug out of prison. He appeared in a playground. He said, "I'm free, I'm free!" A kid said, "So what? I'm four."

So, you're human, huh? Well, I'm a skeleton, so not much gets under my skin.

Yo mama is so fat, I took a picture of her last year, and it is still printing.

I painted my dad white so he wouldn’t leave.

Tigger was playing hide & seek, so he looked in the toilet, but all he found was Pooh.

Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?

Because her students were so bright!

Your parents are so proud of you. They LOVE you! <3

Why was it so hard for the pirate to call his mom? Because she left the phone off the hook!

Yo hairline so far back that you need a magnifying glass to see it.

Sans: "Like, I'm so *flabbergasted*."

Gaster: "👌☼⚐ ✌☼☜ ✡⚐🕆 💧☜☼✋⚐🕆💧 ☼✋☝☟❄ ☠⚐🕈✍"

Yo mama so fat the scale said, "I need your weight, not your phone number."

I raped a girl and I liked it.

I hope my girlfriend won't mind it.

It felt so wrong, it felt so right.

Don't mean I'm in love tonight.